To Tonga!

Musing on the existential societal disaster that is cancel culture, wokeism, or whatever else the supposed ‘progressives’ would have it, my mind set to imagine how the world in which I grew up would fare in this particular war. One of the apparent aims of the limp, lukewarm army of social justice activists might be to suck every last drop of joy from life.

If you are unfortunate enough to be a white male today you often feel you are to blame for every evil thing in the world. Without even trying you can offend so many nouveau sensitivities before breakfast that you feel you should be handing yourself in to the authorities. “And while we’re on the subject, your Honour, I would like the following charges to be taken into account: The Crusades, apartheid, climate change, pollution, the Poor Laws. Oh, and all that disgusting racist science.

There isn’t a cultural area in which what once passed for amusement or entertainment or history or the passing on of knowledge would not now be dissected under the scalpel of sour-faced miserablism. Everything you ever laughed at would now be a hate crime, everything you admired is now racist, misogynistic, transphobic… or originated in slavery. Today’s kids are actively been taught to despise our history.

Id’ love to see what would be made of the Tonga Song by Flanders and Swann:

 Oh, it's hard to say...

"Oly-ma-kitty-luca-chi-chi-chi"

But in Tonga, that means... "No"!

If I ever have the money,

'Tis to Tonga I shall go.

For each lovely Tongan maiden there,

Will gladly make a date.

And by the time she's said:

"Oly-ma-kitty-luca-chi-chi-chi",

It is usually too late!

 Can you just imagine the uproar? Clearly, this is rape culture, mixed with a bit of snide racism and no doubt hints towards the trafficking of innocent young woman. This game is easy. We now have so many self-declared special needs groups that pretty much anything written or performed yesterday transgresses the human rights of any number of them today.

Monstrous old rapists!

You have to wonder where it ends. Is this a trend that has run its course, with every new claim now becoming more risible? Or is the capacity for more offence seeking just as voracious as ever, with children reporting their parents to the thought police in ever increasing numbers each year. Are we to see punishment beatings, show trials, public shaming? Bugger that, I’m off to Tonga!