Saturday, 10 November 2018

Right back at ya!

I notice there is no clamour from the supposed ‘far-right’ to no-platform speakers, or to close down freedom of speech. Notable by its absence are the massed ranks of far-right protesters marching through London to demand that left-wing hate preachers are denied entry into the country. And I have yet to see far-right activists egging politicians, obstructing law-abiding businesses or demanding that swastika cakes be constructed and decorated by progressive artisan bakers.

Painted faces, unintelligible placards, flying the flags of despotic states or pseudo states? Nope, those right-wingers don’t much seem to go in for that kind of protest. Nor do they appear to have a penchant for infiltrating and disrupting debates, public meetings or getting in the way of ordinary people trying to go about their business. I’m guessing they also have no mechanisms for repeatedly flouting electoral rules or demanding better-than-equal representation in ballots.

I don’t see the right pleading the case to disallow votes for people who don’t hold the same views and just what are they thinking when they allow opposing opinions to be openly heard? When was the last time you saw a BBC vox pop consisting entirely of rabid right wingers spouting jingoistic claptrap? And I’m not saying it’s never happened, but when was the last time you saw a panel show being hosted by an avowedly right-wing presenter? And which famous media figure last said ‘Fuck Labour’ out loud without censure?

When did you last hear about how the right wing has an iron grip on the media and controls the message so that you only hear or see anything through the ideological filter of the far-right press? And how many left-wing Twitter accounts are routinely suspended for tweeting mildly left-wing things such as ‘punch a Nazi today’, or ‘all Brexit voters are racists’?

If the right wingers are masters of this sort of agit-prop, they are doing a hell of a job of looking like the very opposite. And damn those right-wing educators with their emphasis on standards and performance and excellence. Those discredited, stone-age principals will... will... most likely result in people working harder, earning more, living longer and all without the help of the state. Goddammit!

Those damned Nazis – come on, let’s say it to their faces - would punish criminals, police the streets, insist that those who come here abide by our rules and integrate into our society and make it harder for freeloaders to sponge on the largesse of the taxpayer. They would even – and this is unconscionable – put the country’s finances back in the black and deny our friends abroad the opportunity to take the piss and expatriate our national wealth.

Brave freedom fighters of Antifa... no fascism here, folks

But fortunately, comrades, this isn’t going to happen any time soon because a tiny troupe of freedom fighters is pushing back. Despite almost zero presence in political activism, society at large, local government, education and the world-wide media the left are managing to have their tiny voices heard. Even as the jack boots are stamping down, this band of angels with only love in their hearts is stamping back. The rise of the right? They are going to have to rise a little harder, I’m afraid.

Friday, 9 November 2018

Time for common sense?

As the now near inevitable non-Brexit grinds towards whatever the opposite of a conclusion is, the pundits are having a field day as conspiracy after conspiracy is dreamed up and the succession of leaks, rebuttals, unofficial briefings and official denials muddies the waters beyond any comprehension. Anybody who dares to claim they understand what is going on is quickly challenged and effectively silenced. The rest of us have little option but to sit it out; we really don’t have a clue.

One thing is for certain; whatever the deal or no-deal, the backstop (what the actual fuck is ‘the backstop’, seriously?) the resolution of the hyped-up ‘Irish question’, the future customs arrangements and the unimaginably dull transition period, a post-Brexit Britain will remain a battleground. It is pretty clear now that the UK will not be leaving the EU in any meaningful way but Remainers will get their result in the most unpalatable way imaginable.

It will be like the tug of war for a cherished sale item which results in it being irreparably broken; or the simple favour for a friend which sparks a trans-generational feud. Cutting off a nose to spite a face will seem pale in comparison, for Britain is broken and neither side is prepared to admit that they broke it. I fully expect next year’s favourite Bonfire Night effigy to be Gina Miller, who did so much to stoke the fires and reveal the impotence of a supposed sovereign government. We, the people? There is no such thing.

Britain is fractured into tribal groups and shitstorm doesn’t begin to describe what is coming for decades ahead. One thing is for certain and that is that the Remain campaign, which has employed, by orders of magnitude, far more resources than the humble Leavers ever had at their disposal, will never stop until every last Leaver has died or recanted. And even then it is doubtful anything will be forgotten, let alone forgiven. Just as southern US states refer to their civil war as ‘the recent unpleasantness’ people will remember Theresa May’s non-Brexit with bitter irony and with blood in their mouths.

But there is a way – and that is to leave, just leave, take the hit, sit out the shit and get on with it. ‘It’ being the rebuilding of our country in OUR image, not that of the progressives who have – the world over – brought strife and division in the false name of equality and diversity. I want an unequal society, but not a cruel one. I want there to be gracious winners and losers who recognise that losing is quite normal, but also that winning is within the grasp of those who keep on trying.

The left talk about fairness, well the reality is that life is inherently unfair, but I do want the genuinely unfortunate to be cared for and yes, I believe the state has a major part to play in this provision. Defence, security, law and order, healthcare, education, transport and more should be under the purview of government, but until the government more closely reflects the governed this simply isn’t going to work. Before Parliament can work properly it must be demolished and rebuilt from scratch. And Brexit might just be the wrecking ball with which to do it.

But not by violence, although I think violence is coming, because the stirred beast of the voiceless majority will lash out and the more the current establishment tries to exercise restrictions on the freedom to speak out, the more it tries to render some debates off-limits, the more likely a physical response will arise. The left have much to fear in this regard, but until they recognise that their far-right bogeyman is a demon of their own making, there may be no other way of bringing them to the table than to make it come true.

There is a respectable view that Brexit, like Trump, like Le Pen, like Orban, has come about as a reaction to the sneering condescension of those who believe they know better. There is much evidence that higher levels of education produce deeper levels of indoctrination and confirmation bias. So maybe the time has come to purge the world of governance of its intellectuals and let common sense have a go. And this could start by respecting the vote and letting us leave the EU without a deal and then all mucking in together to make it work. I’m not holding my breath.

Wednesday, 7 November 2018

A bunch of arse!

The law is an ass. And it is an ass of its own making. It is an illustration of the adage that power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. The law is no longer (if it ever was) an impartial leveller, all men being equal before it. Its judgements are not made by dispassionately neutral disciples of truth but by partisan actors, confident that they themselves are above or at least beyond reproach.

If the rule of law is supposed to be sacred; if the rule of law is said to be a sign of civilisation; if the rule of law is held to be the principal characteristic of a peaceful and prosperous society; why is it so wrong, so often and so obviously antipathetic to the concerns of the millions expected to abide by it? The legal establishment in the west now seems so corrupted by political motives that the pure barbarism of sharia almost looks appealing.

The law exists to keep normally honest people on the straight and narrow – by definition habitual criminals pay it no heed – the threat of penalty is deterrent enough in most cases. And properly applied, the consequences of conviction ought to result in rehabilitation back to acceptable behaviour. But when the law seems to come down more heavily on the habitually compliant and deliver the softest of non-justice on the career criminal, it is little wonder that faith in it is at a low ebb.

The church lost its moral right to lead when it harboured paedophile priests, embezzled money, interfered in politics and embarked on occasional sanctimonious ramblings in the Guardian. The law lost all respect when it championed the rights of the amoral, the misfits and the actually illegal above those of the average citizen. Human Rights has become a laughable attempt to rigorously defend deviants and stamp on the throats of those who speak out for normality. There is a test in law of the ‘reasonable person’, but what of the ‘normal person’?

Normality is easy to establish, it is a mathematical probability of occurrence. And under this probability, most people see that the law has become a joke. When you are likely to go to jail for being a disgusting idiot burning an effigy of a building than to be tackled for knife crime, then the law is rightly derided. And I do understand that there is a great difference between the application of jurisprudence and the reality of policing, but they are as intertwined as are eating and defecating; I’ll leave you to decide which is which in this simile.

Pleas to common sense fall on deaf ears and the uneven hand of justice continues to be reported daily. Violent criminals released to re-offend, pensioners arrested over words, burglars defended against their intended victims, illegal immigrants given leave to remain and the drip-drip-drip of social media thought-policing. To the reasonable person this all looks insane.

It surely can’t continue – week after week brings new confected ‘hate’ offences while old and genuine malice appears increasingly untouchable. There has to come a time, I believe, when the only way to reset our systems will be to take up arms against our own government – what a tragedy that in the very seat of justice and fairness, the only justice for the British people who once trusted the law may necessarily lie in taking the law into their own hands.

Wednesday, 31 October 2018

Getting Cocky

This morning on the drive in to work, I caught a radio report about men in the UK seeking penile enlargement in ever increasing numbers. To avoid the cost of professional surgery, some were injecting their ‘lad’ with oils, Vaseline and other substances presumably sold under the counter for that express purpose. Fortunately the NHS is, as ever, on hand to rescue people from self-inflicted injury and self-directed stupidity.

As I get older I rarely claim any more to have the first clue what is going on in society. News, politics, science, etc, I get, but I have never been completely at ease with the sheer banality of ambition of the narcissists who strut and preen among us. The women who want to look exactly like Barbie, the doll. The incomprehensible need of many to adopt the Instagram pout and adorn their portrait with puppy noses and ears. The obsession of – while otherwise aiming for normal body proportions – white women trying to achieve the over-inflated, genetically specific, steatopygia arse. What is wrong with you all?

The cosmetic/beauty/fitness/glamour industries and all their offshoots occupy far too much of the national consciousness. So-called ‘reality’ TV and the public flaunting of your vanity, ignorance, lack of shame and sheer vacuity ought to be a target for ridicule. Instead it just encourages the morons to gag for more. Worse, nonentities end up becoming idols for people whose former life dreams rarely strayed far from their next fix of fried chicken and contraband cigarettes.

But all that pales in comparison with the phenomenon of blokes injecting oil into their old man. Why? Seriously, by the time you get the chance to deploy your wee man-missile, the battle has been won. Unless you have an acorn instead of a mighty oak it is unlikely she will even notice unless, you know, she has lots of very clear memories against which to compare your, er performance. But isn’t performance what it’s all about? Titchy Tom Cruise plays the giant Jack Reacher, for heaven’s sake; doesn’t that tell you anything?

We are not all blessed with looks, health, height and brains, but we make up for it with working with what we’ve got. Work faster, smarter, longer, harder or with more sheer persistence. Set goals and when you fall at the first hurdle, pick yourself up and start over; the only real architect of your success is you and when you sit at that drawing board you have to consider how to use what you have.

All the props – lift heels, hairpieces, tattoos, muscles – say far more negative things about you than you may imagine. What really matters is not how you change how you think you appear but how you deal with the hand you’ve been dealt. There is a level of vanity which is normal and makes us human. But vanity has got out of hand and self-awareness has been banished, along with personal responsibility; lost in the me-me-me culture which pervades.

So, if you’re looking in the mirror at your dick and wondering whether the object of your desire would admire a thicker one, just remember the object of your desire is almost certainly yourself. If you think that by having surgical alteration of a part of you that isn’t used as often as you’d like would improve the situation, consider how much action you’ll be having when the corrective skin graft is healing. Think once, think twice and don’t make a bigger prick of yourself than you already are.

Wednesday, 24 October 2018


I almost feel sorry for Theresa May. Not so sorry that I don’t want her removed from office; to be honest she was a lacklustre and almost invisible Home Secretary and her slouch-shouldered, cringeworthy carriage does little to endear her to audiences. But she has done her job in a world which does not favour the bold any more and in managing to still occupy Number Ten after all the toxic briefings, leaks and open insurrection of party members she has demonstrated that she knows how to play the game of politics. Such a shame it is a game in which non-combatants take most of the casualties.

I have pondered the conundrum of the non-job economy which has proliferated over the last few decades. I can’t say I blame it on the EU, or on Tony Blair or any particular individual, but what I see depresses me. Some of the best paid jobs around bring approximately zero value to the world. Reciting the mantras of equality and diversity and trotting out the tired old memes that gender is a social construct, etc, requires no productive effort whatsoever. Yes, you expend a degree of mental energy in dreaming up new slogans, new arguments to cancel out the past and new ways to be offended, but what is the point of you?

The cogs in this right-on world somehow manage to mill money, to recycle wealth among themselves, but where did this wealth come from? The people who bake your bread and build your houses; the people who toil in manufacturing to make the things that clothe your world in luxury and convenience; the actual workers, who so many of you claim to represent are barely aware of your presence and if they do notice you, see you only as a detached talking head of no relevance to their own lives.

Millions of people are slaving away on minimal wages so that thousands can give themselves titles such as ‘head of customer experience’ in the NHS. They got sick, they saw the doctor, they got better. Customer experience? They are fucking ecstatic. And have you noticed how much more ‘diversity’ has been foisted upon us since they started coordinating it; what is it about the non-job universe that cannot see the damage they do? The rancid disease of identity politics infects young minds, poisons discourse and generally weakens the nation. Perhaps that’s the point.

And now, even the worlds’ top brains have signed a letter saying that science ‘might’ suffer if the UK leaves the EU. Et tu, scientists? Seriously, you people who live for the possibilities, search for the truth, uncover the meaning of the universe... you honestly think you can’t survive a change to your funding model? The mechanisms might differ but surely your enormous brains must be capable of explorative optimism and not the reductive misery of capitulation to non-job groupthink.

So yes, although I value Theresa May’s contribution to wellness in the world somewhere below where I would rate a half-decent doughnut, I appreciate it can’t be easy working out who you need to appease and then pretending to appease them. The bureaucracy of political correctness can often obscure your vision and blur the line between action and talking about action. But the talking is done now, so pleaser, Theresa, appease ‘em no more.