Monday, 25 July 2016

Bursting Bubbles

Here in my little right wing bubble – actually, strike that, make it vicious, hateful, far-right wing, murderous fascist bubble (may as well get all the accolades in) – I never hear dissenting opinions with which I simply could not cope. Emotionally, I mean. When I hear somebody suggesting we should all live together harmoniously I just want to go to my safe space, curl up in a ball, hug my knees and let out a primal moan (screams are just so violent) to the universe. If somebody suggests we should help the poor and sick I feel nauseous and I have to breathe into a paper bag until it passes. And when I see images of cute kittens on the Internet I feel an urge to self-harm, then disinfect all my possessions and put them all in alphabetic order.

Oh, sorry, wait. I’m getting confused, what I meant was: As a loathsome right wing troll I am driven to seek out offence wherever I can and then relentlessly tweet at the offender until merely ignoring me no longer works. Unless I am reported to the police for hate crime and banned for life from all social media my existence can have no validity. Actually, no, let me have a think and get back to you on this... Right, here we go. I’ve had a good look at myself, in accordance with the unsolicited advice given me by lefties and it turns out it’s not really me who has the problem at all.

As a righty – by which I mean a worker and taxpayer in receipt of no state handouts and needing no help to maintain a sense of self-esteem - I tend to crack on and do the things that need doing. Obviously, I can have no friends, because right-of-centre beliefs have become verboten, so my only social life must be on Twitter, where the interloping of offence-seeking inadequates presents itself mostly as a form of entertainment. Who needs to parody the left when they do such a good job of it all by themselves? But if you were to parody such a person here’s a useful formula on which to base your impersonation.

Start by joining a conversation quite late, preferably with a mildly insulting and slightly off-target interjection containing what you imagine are pejorative comments such as “this is how the Nazis started”. When you are ignored, vie for attention by this time replying to the tweeter you imagine you are ‘targeting’ and then, when that person replies – usually with a mild “Sorry, who are you?” block them without further ado. Alternatively, you can carry on tweeting increasingly graphic abuse long after everybody else has left the thread. But what do I know, maybe they find it therapeutic?

Now I will admit to bias here. I am biased to be more inclined to tolerate those who have no need to demand special recognition. Towards those who stick up for themselves but don’t quickly try to provoke violence or seek offence. Towards those who are contributors, not those who would extract tithes to pay for their own indulgences. I am broadly for the freedom to live the life you wish without insisting that others make special provision to accommodate you and particularly without fomenting a sense of hurt and injustice every time you hear something with which you disagree. There’s even a phrase for this allowing others to do and say as they wish... if only we could all remember it.

The easiest way of dealing with life, especially the bits you find not to your taste, is to simply shrug and get on with it. If others don’t conform to the way you think they should behave you are perfectly free to point this out. But why bang on about it to the point where it is clearly harming your case? It’s funny as hell watching a leftie self-destruct in public but it’s an unedifying spectacle. Have a bit of dignity; at least think of the children – do your kids follow you online? Yikes.

It's the religion of peace, religion of peace... peas...
How to cope with social media

Meanwhile the roaming packs of ‘lone wolves’ who have nothing to do with islam are prowling around Europe stabbing and slashing and shooting their way into the less prominent pages of the press where it is dearly imagined they have far-right sympathies and/or mental illnesses. Talking of mental illness, cognitive dissonance is a rocky road to Unwellville, but the left seem to have developed a natural immunity. Failing that though, just find a safe place, squat, clasp your knees and hum...


  1. "Meanwhile the roaming packs of ‘lone wolves’ who have nothing to do with islam are prowling around Europe stabbing and slashing and shooting their way into the less prominent pages of the press "

    You forgot the thieving and groping bit. Oh! an the odd rape or three. Of course it's all our fault as we are so much wealthier than they are and our women do not cover up in a hijab. According to the progressives that is even covering up for them. One women raped by them said it was non Muslims that did it so that we would not blame them, their culture or their religion. As if we would.

    The progressives are making us pay a heavy price because they are forcing us to follow their cretinous policies and practices. A few more mass murders and such and perhaps those who suffer from it will turn on those who are apologists for it in the same manner.

  2. I've just lost ten minutes of my life reading an article about Jack Monroe in the Guardian. I do find her lack of intelligence and belligerent, almost football terrace like support for the far left almost as startling as her self-obsession.

    Somehow, she managed to draw the interviewer to 'Jo Cox' and 'Nigel Farage', and the 'never fired a bullet' comment, and it made me think a bit about what I'd seen recently in Germany from Angela Merkel's invited economic migrant guests.

    It's quite OK to say that a clearly mentally ill person, that indeed, the local Labour council failed to spot or support, was a politically motivated man of sound mind when it came to the senseless killing of Mrs Cox in the line of her public duties. It's all down to Brexit you see. Blame Farage.

    It's not OK though, to label the shooter in Munich as a religiously motivated man, who clearly uttered 'God is Great' in Arabic before shooting innocent people. To compound this, he obviously took further motivation and ideas from the other lone wolf attacks, perpetrated by other invited guests into Europe, by their respective eurosocialist leaders.

    So, I came to the same conclusion as always. I think a lot of the far left are at best, easily brainwashed due to their low levels of intelligence, or at best, mentally ill themselves.