Praise Be!

Well the Autumn Statement, as expected, brought news of yet more financial doom and gloom. The weather has taken a sharp turn for the wintry, pushing up petrol bills and making the roads even more treacherous than a Marxist Europhile. And the charging of Stuart Hall for sex offences is a knockout blow for Ho-ho-ho, prompting @davidtristram to deliver the brilliant "It's a Cockout" punchline on Twitter.

What else have we here? Pressure on the UK's AAA credit rating, the loss of the great jazz genius Dave Brubeck, albeit for a magnificent innings of 91, and yet more leaked plans for EU supremacy over national budgets... because the Eurozone is doing so well for all its internees, isn't it? Insane Green levies are going to put further pressure on winter heating bills, we are going to give away yet more billions to countries which don't need it, who squander it on government instead of aid and our deficit is yet to be reined in, without which our debt can only continue to grow.

All of which means it is even more likely that the turkeys will vote for a short-lived Christmas-future by electing back into power the very cause of our indebtedness in two year's time. Ed Balls may have looked a twat yesterday in Parliament, but the good old left-wing press will back his disastrous stances all the way to meltdown and enslavement by the state for all who remain. (Two years to pack your bags, workers.)

It's not all bad news though. A Russian oligarch's Polish builders have bulldozed to the ground a chateau in France, which is internationally hilarious, those cheeky Aussies raised a grin by posing as The Queen and Prince Phil on the telephone all the way from 'dairn-anda' and the grin has been wiped off the face of smug tech giants Apple to the tune of $35bn. We love a bit of schadenfreude, innit?

But I save the best news until last. A bid by a hideous, medieval, ignorant hate machine posing as a pseudo-religious authoritarian sect has had its plans for an enormous Jihadi training centre in the heart of Londonistan turned down by the planning authorities. It's only a matter of time of, course, before appeals based on their ethnic sensitivities mounted by human-wrongs lawyers sensing a fast buck will overturn the ruling and facilitate one more step along the way to an entirely Islamic Britain.

America shows the way...

But - silver lining time - at least the rabid Mussies might just have the balls to tell Europe to go and fuck itself up a camels' backside... after they've robbed it blind, of course.