Day 1. Tuesday. My new, nicer life.
Yesterday I decided that, from now on, I'm going to be nice. To everybody. That means I will not get annoyed when
leftards nice, caring people
accidentally bring society crumbling down do their very best for us with their
idiotic progressive policies of tolerance and equality and letting in
hundreds of thousands of thieving gypsy bastards downtrodden people who come here only to
steal and cheat and lie their way into our pockets work.
I will not be annoyed when I hear stories about the European Union
spreading propaganda trying to educate the backward-looking people of Great Britain so they can
be oppressed forever under the jack boot of communism enjoy the glorious freedoms and bumper turnip harvests that union will surely bring. One day. Soon, I'm sure...
I promised myself that instead of getting angry about the
soft sensible sentences handed down to
violent criminals misunderstood offenders, I would instead, seek to see the good in them and their potential for rehabilitation and call for
their immediate execution them to be released as quickly as possible so they will
rape and stab and kill again and again and again become useful members of society.
And I really must find it in my heart to apologise to the
vicious, nasty hating machines of Islam unfairly misrepresented Muslims who only want
our total annihilation peace in the name of
their medieval sky pixie Allah. I actually believe the sight of mosques on every street corner is
a blight on our townscapes a symbol of our
defeat at the hands of embrace of
the poison that is multiculturalism.
This is proving harder than I thought. Time for bed.
Day 2. Wednesday. Try again.
Must think nice thoughts. Tea. A cup of tea will set me up for the day. And maybe some toast. My, is that the time? I normally post before eight and it's already nearly ten o'clock. Best have some more tea and read the papers for inspiration... happy, nice, generous thoughts. *Thinks - not the Daily Mail... not the Daily Mail...*
Rage all about it!
Right,what have we here? Bent bankers, bent MPs, gay marriage, heart attack, Delia quitting, Gazza back on the piss and sodding horse burgers... Aaaargh!!
Fuck it, what's the point of being nice? Anybody can be bloody nice! I'm back - now point me at something stupid!
Thou shalt not object to ever increasing laws, regulations, rules, advice and pressure on your way of life; whatever you thought you knew was wrong and better to listen to those who smugly want to to do what they say and avoid doing what they do;
ReplyDeleteThou shalt not rail against corruption and nest-lining at public expense and profligate spending without regard; better seeing it as necessary benefits for the ruling class, who have toiled selflessly for more than you have ever had or will have;
Thou shalt not moan about the falling standards of education and the rise of dumbing down; instead thou shalt declare it new standards in educayshun, innit, man;
Thou shalt not object to hordes of folk descending on these islands to see what they can screw out of those poor sods who were born here; instead thou shalt call it fairs-fair and justice and probably recompense for some long past slight against their peoples;
Thou shalt not regard strange people with muddled thoughts as crazy or weird and certainly shall not twitter or post post facebook rants about how odd they are; strive instead for that peaceful acceptance that we are all the same though some are manifestly more same than others and the ones who aren't must be pardoned for whatever needs pardoning in the current media frenzy of leftard froth;
Thou shalt not regard religions as a bunch of old hoo-ha designed to intimidate opponents and demean their own kind, especially those who are female; better to think their god might not really want you dead tomorrow, though this evaluation of some made up book may be subject to revision depending on what a twitchy bearded loon says;
Thou shalt not question culture, even if thou is sane and they don't seem to be; god invented multi-culti to forgive them but punish you. Get over it;
Thou shalt not say thou shalt not to anyone! Such sentiments are forbidden because everyone can do anyfink, innit, and where's me free cash and I wannabe on Britain's Got Rap cos I fink I'm cool, bitch;
Thou shalt not think freely, or regard freedom as important as more wiser people than thou know far more about spending your money than you do and some of them even speak a little English but mostly can't be bothered and anyway Brussels isn't bad when you have a big office there and free perks and no one questions you;
Thou just shan't, got it?
Apologies for the odd typo; I forgot the Word is the law and part of the Office package which would save me from such errors. Still, you get the idea
DeleteExcellent stuff, my Lady. Art thou on 'that Twitter'?
DeleteIndeed sire, but less as this and more as another person... direct message follows shortly :)
ReplyDeleteShame about that bumper turnip harvest.
ReplyDeleteGuess we'll have to airbrush the second undersecretary for bolloxing boondoggles out of the May Day photos...again.
Increase the chocolate ration! Comrades, we are winning!
Delete