Tuesday, 6 September 2016

What’s the point?

There’s a whole lot of disingenuity going on down Media Meadows at the moment. Behind the closed doors of cosy cul-de-sacs heartbroken Remainers are consoling each other and offering mutual support by coining delicious little ditties to spread dissent. Listen to the Today programme early in the morning on Radio 4 and you’ll hear such introductions as “despite Brexit” such-and-such an index is back to its pre-June level. Or trade is bouncing back after the “post-Brexit shock”. And just to be absolutely sure that the message gets through any such recoveries are presented as temporary: “we mustn’t read too much into what looks like good news” and “time will tell if this growth is sustainable”... and on it goes.

Of course, any dips in trade, currency values, prices, wages etc are largely as a result of business holding its breath and holding back decisions because of the hell-fury, painful-death scenarios woven by Project Fear in the run-up to the referendum. And any reversion to normality is portrayed as valiantly fighting back against the damage done by the unthinkably stupid will of ignorant, old, racist people who killed the United Kingdom. This is true because this shining example of the righteous young says so.  

With the exception of the self-fulfilling prophecy of the “We’re going to crash! We’re going to crash! Oh god, we’re going to crash!” as the establishment let go of the controls and prayed in the aisles little of any consequence has yet to happen and independence offers all sorts of opportunities as yet unrealised. Had it not been for the vote, July would have been glossed over as a dip and the bounce greeted unequivocally good news. But of course that does nothing to scare the little people.

On PM they have a new regular segment called Brexit Street. Did they choose a middle of the road suburb with educated voices for and against? Did they pick an area with a positive vision for the future, now getting to grips despite originally being against? No, they chose Thornaby, a deprived, northern post-industrial town in Teesside where harsh-on-the-cultured-southern-ear northern accents assault the delicate Islingtonite sensibilities. Hearing those tones up close they would instinctively flinch and give up their  iPhone. Further, the programme features almost exclusively those who play up to the ignorant, racist Neanderthal stereotype who voted against civilisation.

And then they press government and Theresa May in whose hands lie our fate: “But what does Brexit look like, eh?” they say, shoving the microphone aggressively into the faces of any pro-Brexit figures who dare to surface. “Where’s the £350million a week for the NHS, eh? Eh?” So yesterday’s apparent volte-face on the much-lauded ‘points based immigration system’ was greeted with derision and malicious glee by the Euro-rati. Another failed pledge, they say, ignoring the fact that the Leave campaign as not conducted by anyone single party with the power to unilaterally enact change. But let’s look at this one, burning issue.

Australia of course, imposes conditions and quotas on top of the points, so even if you stack up – age, health, qualifications, skill set, criminal record (lack of, ironically) etc – there is no guarantee of a place unless there is...an actual place and you behave yourself. But what Britain needs, apparently, is something very different, according to Mrs May; we can’t be using any off-the-shelf remedies. 

Oh no, what Britain needs is an entirely different procedure, which assesses applicants against a number of criteria, say: age, health, qualifications, skill set, criminal record (lack of) etc. Complement that with further controls regarding eligibility to stay on and access to public services, benefits and so on and add, say, a cap on numbers and bingo, you have a brand new method, completely different from anything else in the world. A non-Australian-style, criteria-based pointless 'process'. Oh yes; we invented practically everything else, let's get started on a new design for the wheel...

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