Thursday, 8 September 2016

Goodness Gracious, Great Walls of Ire!

Nobody knows what tomorrow will bring. This is as true for the length of time it will take you to drive in to work as it is for how you will fare in the National Lottery. If people knew which horse would win the race, or which shares would double in value next week then acting on that knowledge would almost certainly change the outcome; the odds on a certainty are no odds worth betting on. So it is disappointing but not unexpected that bitter remainers are still asking in that irritating, high-pitched whine “Well,what does Brexit look like?

Maybe it is all deflection because, having said that Brexiteers would be cutting off their collective nose to spite their face and having threatened the direst of consequences, many economic forecasters – for which, read mountebank – have altered their outlooks in a more positive direction. Damn and blast, say the pro-EU brigade, we hoped that voting to leave would bring the country down and it hasn’t; we must now do our utmost to cause the collapse of the British economy or else we’ll look like idiots. I know, we’ll insist on knowing “What does Brexit look like? Eh? EH?”

I do love the way they scrunch up their little faces and stamp their feet and demand to know the unknowable future that, of course, nobody knows. Not the doomsayers, not the gleeful Union Flag-wavers, not the bookies and certainly not one single economist of any persuasion. But hey, if you want to feel good about your pain, my weepy little EU-philes, have a look at the Great Wall of Calais; that’s what it looks like. Happy now? Does that satisfy your absolute certainty that we are all racist, xenophobic, insular, inward-looking, nasty, Nazi, Little Englanders? Good.  

Now the bad news? Something like this would have to have been erected, regardless. It has nothing to do with Brexit no matter how much you want it to. The only other option – the one that I guarantee a majority of British people would consent to in a heartbeat – is military action, up to and including fatal shooting. Why? Because Calais is a tiny fraction of what Merkel’smuslim invasion has in store. No wall will be big enough to contain the astoundingly ill-considered plan for the EU. Trust me, you will be glad of the English Channel when the time comes.

Calm down. While there is still a Europe to trade with we will trade. As for the incessant background drone about ‘trade deals’, such devices are merely ways for governments to interfere with  commerce, which rarely improves matters. And when it comes to the dire predictions of idiots like this as to how long these imaginarily necessary deals will take it is irrelevant; trade will take place whether or not governments have haggled over their cut. All of which argument ignores the unassailable truth that the vote to leave was emotive, not pragmatic and no amount of economic horror fantasy will change that. Leave it; move on.

The international strategy for resettlement...
Illegal immigration - no dice!

And back to this 'terrible wall', as if building walls to keep people out was anything new. The ‘great wall’ is just another obstacle for migrants to climb as they roll the dice and make their way up the chequer board of civilisation. Britain is the winning square; the top of the game. Except what may now await them at Calais is the head of an enormous snake that slides them all the way back to Africa. It’s about time we started to win again.


  1. I can't remember ever encountering the word 'mountebank' in this century, aside from in 19th century fiction. It's gratifying to know that the North is still husbanding our linguistic patrimony. Can you work 'flim-flam' in somewhere?