Saturday 9 June 2012

The enemy within

Shhh, they're all around. Hiding, listening, waiting until your back is turned.

You put your back into your work, build something from nothing, nurture your enterprise, then these dirty, idle scroungers set about you and tear the shirt from your back. What is it about these shifty freeloaders that they can't understand the concept of work and reward? Why do they always expect to get a free ride in life?

It's not enough that they are born into families who have never done a day's work in their lives. It's not enough that they have a living handed to them on a plate. Oh no, scraps and handouts aren't good enough for them any more. Now they want what we've got. And without jobs to go to they can afford to hang around all day, just waiting for you to drop your guard.

Well, it's all gone too far. Why should we have to put up with wasters and thieves and feral scum like that any more? If I had my way I'd shoot the lot of them. In front of their families.

But, "Oh no, you can't do that!" bleat the bleeding-heart save-the-earthers, "Every life is sacred. Every life has worth." Worth? Worth? I'm telling you, nobody would miss them. But they say they can be re-trained to serve a purpose. They could be couriers, for instance. Couriers for fuck's sake, I wouldn't trust them with anything of mine... which gets us back to the problem at hand.

I'm not allowed to shoot them, we can't deport them because they were born here, apparently it's not right to introduce any form of enforced birth control and we can't even herd them up and put them in prison. No, this something-for-nothing culture is embedded too deep and apparently, they have 'rights'.

So I've had to go to my option of last resort and put my brassicas under poly tunnels.

That'll fox the little pigeony bastards! 


  1. Hope you put the special 'medicine' down for the slugs and the snails too.

  2. Mice like to nibble too. Electrically charged barbed wire?

  3. Yes indeedy, but they haven't been a problem at all to date. It was only my dad telling me yesterday about the pigeons. I thought it was caterpillars or some such, but I hadn't seen any eggs or other evidence.