Lend us a fiver, mate?
Lend? You haven't paid me back the fiver I lent you last month.
Okay, lend me a tenner, then I can pay you back right now. (A ten-pound note is paid over and handed straight back.) There, now we're even.
Er, no. You still owe me last month's fiver. And, for that matter, several other fivers going back some years. You probably owe me several hundred quid in all. (Consults small pocket book) Yes. Three hundred and fifty quid, altogether.
That's outrageous! I haven't got that sort of money.
Neither have I. Not any more, anyway.
So, can you lend me that fiver?
No. This is where I draw the line.
Well, you can shove your £350 then.
Hardly. You've got it.
Yeah,? Yeah? Well that's the last time I ever help you out, you penny-pinching bastard. In fact, forget it mate, I'm not your friend any more, so you can sing for it as far as I'm concerned.
(Strikes through debt in pocket book) So, I'm out of pocket and I no longer have you as a friend? £350 sounds like a fair price to me. Deal.
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