Let's Do It

Cole Porter knew a thing or two. In 1928 he wrote: Birds do it, bees do it… even educated fleas do it. In Spain, the best upper sets do it.  Lithuanians and Letts do it. The Dutch in old Amsterdam do it, not to mention the Finns. Chinks do it, Japs do it, up in Lapland little Laps do it. Some Argentines, without means, do it. People say in Boston even beans do it. Electric eels do it. In shallow shoals English soles do it. Goldfish in the privacy of bowls do it… Let's do it, let’s…

The topic of eugenics popped up over the weekend, as it is wont to do on a hot summer’s day when the unmellow strains of unrestrained families echo cacophonously across sink estates the land over. The scene was thus – I had just fixed the NHS by the simple expedient of applying no-nonsense triage to the system and had set out to do likewise for the Welfare State. Oh that title; the ‘W’ word sounds oh-so caring but add capital-letter ‘State’ and you just know you have a clusterfuck in the making. The most significant thing wrong with the welfare state is the sheer number of people reliant upon it. That’s what has to change.

Now, good people practice a form of eugenics all the time, often for economic reasons. Limiting your family to a size you can care for and to which you can give the best start in life is responsible, kind and ultimately fair. Even before starting a family, there is a selection process for the breeding pair; successful people generally mate with attractive people to produce more of the same – but not too many more; that would be irresponsible. But lower down the social scale you have the unplanned reproduction without responsibility of brutes like Keith Macdonald, a one-man welfare drain who has featured in this blog before.

Come on now, be serious, what opportunities do any of those kids have other than to repeat the aberrant behaviour of their parents? When farmers grow too much of a crop, the surplus rots in the ground. Therefore, farmers are careful to husband their resources. But not so long ago we had the phenomenon of the EU ‘wine lakes’ and ‘butter mountains’ and surplus grain crops being dumped at sea. Even today various economic policies promote waste. Pay people to produce any commodity and you will eventually create a glut. Back to the topic in hand and a show of your hands, please –who wants the Keith Macdonalds of the world indiscriminately sowing their seed? Thought not.

It was a hot day yesterday. People were too busy being hot to bother about me and my soap box but one of my occasional irritants decided to take me to task. What did I tweet that was so offensive? “Welfare. Give it to me. I'll sort it out. No, you're not allowed to have kids. Job done.” His response was, “So you’re proposing eugenics”. I thought about it. He was right. So now I’m a Nazi. And there’s the real problem; end of rational argument all round.

Nobody can be so blind that they cannot see the folly of assisting the uncontrolled explosion of a part of the population which – while not necessarily attaching blame to them directly – we simply do not want. More mouths to feed, more ADHD to contain, more domestic violence, more crime, more courts, more prison places… and then, ever more unwanted, abused, life-restricted kids, some of whose contribution to Planet Earth could best be described as just so much more human protein.

Feckless families like this must be stopped!

So, is the only thing preventing us from having this discussion a word for something that responsible people already do? Are we are afraid that using that word will turn us into monsters? Seriously, we're scared of a word? But what else are we going to do? Unless this nettle is grasped the only thing that will restrict population will be access to resources - nature's way. And that usually means war. So, if birds can do it and bees can do it… Let’s do it - let's at least talk about it.