Sunday, 9 October 2016
Trump or Clinton - Trumpton?
Phwoar, look at the baps on that! Marks out of ten? I’d give her one! Terrible arthritis, she has... hands like that! *mimes holding melons* Skirt, gash, fanny, split, Wendy, Judy, Sheila, bird, slag, bitch, tart. Ah, woman, how do we know thee, let me count the ways... So, Donald Trump is guilty of bloke talk in an unguarded moment a decade ago. So what? The reactions have been as predictable as the existence of this tape. Of course he’s a letch, of course there’ll be others, have you not been paying attention?
As newly castrated male politicians line up to denounce him, casting stones to which they have no entitlement, they use words like offended, sickened and disgusted. Really? Or are they mostly just relieved it wasn’t them? Relieved they weren’t famous enough to be wired for sound when they were bragging to their buddies.
Do I think Trump’s an egotistical wanker? Yes, of course. Do I think this debars him from office? Of course not – that is almost a necessary prerequisite for this job and few of his predecessors in the history of the presidential race can claim they’ve never boasted of their sexual skirmishes. Hypocrisy is more than a word to the illiberal left; it’s practically an entry requirement. Who among us doesn’t have some moments for which we would turn the clock back if we could?
In some parallel Earth the nice guy would get the girl and success would accrue to whoever ran the most ethical business. Bribery, corruption, lewd behaviour and the misuse of office would be the fictions of perverse minds and a minority taste at that. But look at what sells in this world; the most ordinary of soap operas feature sexual impropriety that would make Trump blush. Our novels are awash with big conspiracy, corruption at its heart. And you can barely move on the internet for pornography to satisfy every warped taste.
As much as you may loathe the man and as much as you may convince yourself that he is unfit for office, Trump is what he is, what he always was. But just look at yourselves; from the overwrought reactions in the media you can almost imagine his reputation would suffer less from the broadcasting of a video of him beating a tramp to death with a Champagne bottle. Hell, he’s even apologised for it – or at least he’s said sorry for being caught – but that may not be enough.
Politics isn’t about truth, it’s about perception. And perceptions change; that’s the thankless task of the media. If the US election was unsightly up until now, with each side telling tales to teacher on the other, stand by for it to become downright ugly. Trump’s team will be poring over the peccadilloes of Bill Clinton with a fine toothed comb and if it wasn’t for his Jimmy Savile-like ability to feel no shame he ought to be quaking in his boots.
A fine pair...
Do I want to know all the stuff that’s going to come out in the next month? No, not really, but like a slow-motion car crash, it’s going to be hard to look away. But, however much you may need to hold your nose in order to elect The Donald, always keep in mind what the alternative is. Trump or Clinton... what a massive pair.