It’s a confusing world out there for the unwary voter. On
the one hand, you are told, the Nasty Tory Storm-troopers will come rampaging
through your homes in dawn raids to wrench your children from your bosom, burn
down your property and put your old dad out into the street to beg. On the
other hand those lovely, caring Labours will fix everything for free, heal the
sick, feed the multitude and reverse global warming or cooling - whatever – and
it won’t cost you a penny because they will make the energy companies and the bankers
pay for it all. I know; it’s a tough call, right? (The LimpDems will, of
course, just watch from the sidelines.)
But here’s the thing, see, what evidence do you have that
any of those warnings or promises will come to pass? Labour are laying it on
thick about the baby-eating ambitions of the evil Tory villains, but is any of
it actually true? Seriously, has the sky really caved in? How many hospitals
have been pillaged for spare parts? Hasn’t public spending more or less stayed
as it was? Have they somehow accelerated whatever it is the climate-changers
say is changing? The fact is none of you know; not one of you. People would
have died, got sick, become more stupid or polluted the planet whoever was in
power and not a single one of us is sufficiently well-informed to accurately apportion
blame. You need hindsight for that and even that can be unreliable.
Well, as it happens, as far as Labour is concerned at
least, we actually do have some hindsight; not only are they responsible for creating
the gory mess that is multicultural, low wage Britain, they even have the gall
to admit it and moreover that they spent every last penny – and then some – in doing
so. They even confess now that they would have to be just as austere as the
coalition, phrasing that as tough talk on the economy. Yet at the
same time they appear to be promising to restore the benefits (that the coalition haven’t
really taken away) which is sort of tempting if you don’t understand any of
this. And by way of largely irrelevant distraction, David Cameron’s father-in-law is
going to make a packet from wind farm subsidies. The bastard. You should hate
him because he’s rich. Boo!
It shouldn’t be necessary to be politically sophisticated
to be able to make an informed choice. But when people can’t even rely on their
own memories what chance is there? For instance, which came first, the tax
credits or the depressed wages or the immigration flood, all of which are interlinked?
And those windmills; are they a good thing, bringing energy security? Or are
they just another way to rob the poor and give to the rich? Did the coalition
really deliberately flood Somerset? For the average disconnected voter it is
almost impossible to discern how much current strife is the result of which
administration. Atos, for instance, was appointed by Labour and not as people are
eager to believe, by the Tories.
If politics was actually about governance there would be
no need for party politics. Like any giant company, the nation would simply
appoint the best managers and accountants and scientists and engineers and
lawyers and replace them as and when necessary. Regions would act like subsidiaries,
responsible to the people who paid their wages and town councils would be hired
and fired and held to account directly by citizens. If politics was about
governance.
But it’s not. Politics is about power, ONLY about power;
getting into power, having power and retaining power. In a private,
profit-seeking company the very word ‘politics’ generally implies distasteful
and counter-productive manoeuvring, often contrary to the company’s best interests.
National politics, like stage magic, is a game played in the public gaze, masquerading
as acting in the greater good whilst concealing the real motives which are rarely
concerned with such outcomes. The general public and many MPs never quite grasp
the prestidigitatory nature of the game and still believe you can genuinely
change things in an instant – now that WOULD be magic.
So, in the run up to next year’s general election you can
forget about governance altogether. The coalition has made all the changes it realistically
can and they are hoping for continued good economic news. The opposition has
rushed out so much paper policy in the last few weeks, it’s unlikely they will attempt
any more, but they are going to ignore the economy and concentrate on how you
feel. From now on it’s all about sloganeering. The governing parties will promise
you fiscal responsibility and a steady hand on the tiller, while the opposition
will promise, promise, promise knowing that people, having not really paid
attention, will vote for bread now, not understanding that, with less
government interference, cake is within their grasp.
It’s a mess, but there is a solution. Belgium recently
ran without a government for a year and a half and nobody really noticed
because the government doesn’t actually run things at all; it just talks about
running things and occasionally rouses mobs of gap-toothed, frothy-mouthed
villagers with burning torches to mob the streets and demand… er, something or
other. Then everybody goes home and nothing really changes. So, if you’re
unsure where to place your ‘X’ next May you could do worse than vote for whichever
party is offering you the least. That way, you won’t be disappointed.
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