Friday, 31 October 2014

Keep taking the tablets

Parliament, realising there is nothing they can actually do about anything as we are hit with successive crashing waves of EU legislation, uncontrollable immigration, debt, more debt and despair, have been discussing drugs. Does the punishment fit the crime and all that sort of thing. And as always when it comes to judicial efficacy they forget the one thing that everybody affected by drug-related crime knows: Higher penalties may not deter criminal activity, but locking them up and losing the keys at least keeps them off the street. When will those Class A cockwombles wise up?

Anyway, it all reminded me of how easy it is to be led rather than to take the lead, as illustrated by the story of the happy, hoppy rabbit…

A hoppy little rabbit is happily hopping through the forest one day when, coming to a clearing of thorn scrub he stumbles upon Gerry the giraffe rolling a big, fat joint. The happy, hoppy rabbit looks at him and says, “Giraffe, dude, think about what you're doing to yourself! Come with me, running through the forest and you'll feel so much better!' The giraffe looks at the rabbit, looks at the joint, thinks a moment, shrugs, then throws his joint away and goes off to run through the forest with his cheery, furry friend.

Eventually they come across Eric the elephant doing a big line of coke. “Eric!” says the rabbit, “Come on, dude, why do you do this? Think about the damage you’re doing to your brain, man. Come running with us through the beautiful forest and you'll see; you'll feel so good!' The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, the mirror and the line of coke and thinks ‘what the hell!’, tips the powder onto the ground and breaks into a trot with a grin on his face.

They giggle like cubs as they gambol and hop and skip and jog through field and forest, hill and dale and they all feel so much better for the freedom and the feel of the wind in their hair. Soon, they discover Lenny the lion, cooking up and about to shoot some smack. Lenny, Lenny, Lenny…” says the happy hoppy rabbit, “Why do you do this to yourself? Come running through the forest with us and…”

The rabbit's spiel is cut short as the lion bounds over and lays him out, flat with a single, devastating blow from his powerful paw. The other two stop still, staring aghast at the sheer suddenness of it. “What?” demands the lion.

“But, but, but…” says the giraffe, “he was only trying to help cheer us all up!” The lion looks at the barely breathing rabbit on the forest floor, then in a low growl says, “Bollocks, he was. That little fucker has had me running around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he's on ecstasy!”

It’s Friday; take a chill pill, mon! 

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