Saturday 18 February 2012

Here Comes Rhymin', er...

Yesterday I invited Twitter followers (once again) to follow the excellent Police Inspector Blog, if only because of this astounding initiative. The Daily Mail, naturally, have picked up on the story today and - I leave you to draw your own conclusions - included a picture of Denise Milani herself. Anybody surprised, confused, or uncertain of my point, see me after class for a lesson in how-the-leftie-agenda-is-fucking-up-the-whole-of-the-civilised-world. Politically correct policing is a type of policing I really don't need - criminals leave their rights at the scene of the crime.

Inspector Gadget submitted a few poetic lines of his own. I invite you to follow his lead.

Me first:

The gender agenda for every offender,
Is surely destined to fail.
Cos the big-issue vendor who killed with a blender,
Is currently sitting in jail
But ‘diversity’ says we must leap to defend her
‘Cos numbers  of Brendas and Glendas and Zendas
Are over the quota and heaven forfend, her
 Supporters are starting to wail.

Your turn:


  1. I’ve just locked up a rapist, who said he was born in Dharfur.
    He laughed in my face as we charged him, then spat on the custody-suite floor.
    ‘She won’t say a thing against me’, and I guess that he’s probably right,
    She’s terrified of what he might do,
    and knows what he’s done before.

    Last time, he striped the first girlfriend – he called her ‘a fat Irish whore’,
    but she disappeared to to the Emerald Isle and was heard of again, no more.
    ‘She won’t say a thing against me’, was his constant refrain at the time,
    All true, cos’ she knew what he might do,
    and she knew that he’d done it before.

    Well this is my poem, Ms Milani, about someone diverse as can be,
    He doesn’t care who he abuses, just so long as he always stays free.
    Is he the sort you admire, an example to you and to me?
    So screw your PC agenda, and wipe off your smug, stupid, smile,
    I’ll have me tea and ‘elevenses’ with people a bit more worthwhile.

  2. Nice one. You are the, er, winner... so far!

  3. This is from Rob Liddle in the Spectator - Inspired!

    Metropolitan police officers have been asked to write a poem celebrating the wonderful diversity of our capital. The winning entrant will get to have ‘elevenses’ with the Met’s Head of Diversity, a nice lady called Denise Milani. This is too entrancing a prospect to pass up. So, given that the poem will come from a policeman’s view, here’s my entry:

    Albanian gangsters with rice flails and Uzis,
    Ukrainian pimps with high-cheekboned floozies,
    Jamaicans with handguns, Somalis with knives
    — just some of the people enriching our lives.
    Jew-hating Imams from Rabat and Homs,
    Stockpiling their basements with ricin and bombs,
    Rich Saudi princes with cowering slaves,
    Slovakian hooligans, Romanian knaves,
    A fat lady from Lagos looking quite glum
    With five kilos of gak stashed away up her bum,
    Levantine maniacs beating up gays,
    Young girls from Thailand whose skills quite amaze,
    Grim Kurdish separatists from the shores of Lake Van,
    Strange Russian men with a nuclear tan,
    From Romford to Ruislip a myriad show
    Of cultural diversity — so mind how you go.