Wednesday 18 April 2012

Whoops! Abu-Banana!

Question: A bad man. Who we know to be really bad. Who has has done bad things. That we can prove... and wants to kill us all, right? Well, we'd like to send this bad man away. So he can't kill us. That's okay, isn't it?

Answer: Well, as a bad man his rights are much more important than yours, so there's nothing you can do. Wouldn't it be so much less fuss to just move away from him?

What? All (quickly counts on fingers) sixty-two million of us?

Yes. Far easier in the long run to relocate the entire UK population to, er.. I hear Jordan's very nice this time of year.

Question: The, er, 'golf club' we are a member of keeps putting up the fees. But whenever we try and book a tee-time they tell us there are other members who pay nothing at all who need to use the course. Can we have a refund please?

Answer: You inhuman monsters! How dare you be so ungrateful? Now see what you did. Everybody is getting upset. By the way, we need another £10billion by next Tuesday, or you're out.

We'll just leave then.

You can't.

Why not?

You can't leave until you've paid your subscriptions.

Question: Suppose you have a bunch of people who have robbed you of your every freedom, who bleed you dry and work you to death and won't let you leave. What can you do?

Answer: The only solution is to kill them. Kill them all.

"Hello, is that Royal Jordanian? Yes, a change of plan. Not Amman. Brussels."

PS: Before somebody complains that Abu Banana doesn't have a hook, all hairy-faced hate mongers look the same to me. Every last one of them.

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