Thursday 19 April 2012

Tell it how it is.

Remember the story of the emperor's new clothes?

Well, today, I'm the little boy in the crowd... and I'm this is what I gleaned from this morning's papers:


  • Michele Obama does not possess even a single super power. Stop pretending otherwise.
  • Being a 'celebrity' does not automatically make you beautiful and a bikini doesn't change any of that.
  • Just because Demi Moore did it more 20 years ago not many people actually want to see women naked and pregnant. That is not art, it's a fetish.
  • Nobody cares about anybody else's 'bikini body'. What is wrong with you?


  • You're fat because you're lazy and eat too much. It's been proved.
  • No, you can't eat yourself thin.
  • You're unattractive because you're fat and lazy.
  • You are on your own because you're unattractive...
  • ...because you're fat and lazy.
  • Oh and it is probably all your own fault.

In other news

  • The Euro is fucked.
  • Michael Hesletine is NOT Tarzan and just because he's always been wrong it doesn't mean that all of a sudden he's going to be right.
  • A Liberal Democrat is neither one thing nor another.
  • You cannot get addicted to 'apps' It's not even a proper word.
  • No public information project is ever cost effective. The only ones who take heed didn't need telling.

And some random thoughts to send you on your way:

  • Stereotypes are almost always true.
  • Drunken, shouting, swearing women with tits out and tattoos? You may as well tear up any qualifications you have - you completely blew it there, love.
  • After a certain age you can no longer blame your parents.
  • Pop psychology is mostly utter tosh

And you're so not 'worth it'


  1. Fat ?
    “Proved”, surely you mean Proven? Proved is what happens to bread etc when you leave it to double in size…. Dohhh.. I stand corrected !

  2. Being the pedant I am, I changed it several times for that reason before settling on that form. Either, apparently, is acceptable... so there you go. :-)