Thursday, 19 April 2012

Tell it how it is.

Remember the story of the emperor's new clothes?

Well, today, I'm the little boy in the crowd... and I'm this is what I gleaned from this morning's papers:


  • Michele Obama does not possess even a single super power. Stop pretending otherwise.
  • Being a 'celebrity' does not automatically make you beautiful and a bikini doesn't change any of that.
  • Just because Demi Moore did it more 20 years ago not many people actually want to see women naked and pregnant. That is not art, it's a fetish.
  • Nobody cares about anybody else's 'bikini body'. What is wrong with you?


  • You're fat because you're lazy and eat too much. It's been proved.
  • No, you can't eat yourself thin.
  • You're unattractive because you're fat and lazy.
  • You are on your own because you're unattractive...
  • ...because you're fat and lazy.
  • Oh and it is probably all your own fault.

In other news

  • The Euro is fucked.
  • Michael Hesletine is NOT Tarzan and just because he's always been wrong it doesn't mean that all of a sudden he's going to be right.
  • A Liberal Democrat is neither one thing nor another.
  • You cannot get addicted to 'apps' It's not even a proper word.
  • No public information project is ever cost effective. The only ones who take heed didn't need telling.

And some random thoughts to send you on your way:

  • Stereotypes are almost always true.
  • Drunken, shouting, swearing women with tits out and tattoos? You may as well tear up any qualifications you have - you completely blew it there, love.
  • After a certain age you can no longer blame your parents.
  • Pop psychology is mostly utter tosh

And you're so not 'worth it'


  1. Fat ?
    “Proved”, surely you mean Proven? Proved is what happens to bread etc when you leave it to double in size…. Dohhh.. I stand corrected !

  2. Being the pedant I am, I changed it several times for that reason before settling on that form. Either, apparently, is acceptable... so there you go. :-)