Famous for... Wait, gimme a second...

Scanning the online newspapers - the ones that most people read as opposed to the proper ones people pretend to read - for inspiration to care about something enough to write about it, in a very short space of time I learned the following:

• X-Factor reject Cher Lloyd had piss thrown at her during the V Festival in Chelmsford.
• One Direction (I still have no idea what they are) were mobbed at the same festival.
• Apparently there's yet another 'Celebrity' Big Brother on at the moment.
• Courtney Stodden is still only seventeen, or is that her IQ? Who knows?
• People I've never heard of are flaunting bare flesh on beaches.
• A picture of a cat has been downloaded more times in a second than all of Leonardo's works in a lifetime
• Kim Kardashian's arse is opening a restaurant or something.

It strikes me our politicians are on a winner. Given the amount of shit and derision people will wade through for the most minuscule scrap of fame is it any wonder they don't generally regard the economic health of the nation, or its sovereignty as subjects worthy of discussion? People in pubs don't really talk about politics in any meaningful way - all they care about is whether they are in receipt of a living, waged or unwaged.

Julian Assange, quantitative easing, the Eurozone, HS2, etc. These issues matter not a jot to most of the population. Even the mention of bankers and bonuses only elicits a low growl of confused anger and not the howl of rage the revolutionaries want to invoke. And it's all because nobody knows anything any more. In fact nobody even wants to know anything any more.

Why strive to become good at anything when the world will contrive to make that accomplishment obsolete? Why become skilled when the skill can be acquired by others who will perform it for a lower wage? And even in the pursuit of fame it's more important that you have a gut-wrenching back-story than any shred of talent.

When middle-aged S&M porn instantly outsells the world's most renowned authors; when the reporting of a selfless act of sacrifice is read by a tenth of those who click on pictures of anthropomorphic kittens (Aaww look! He's writing a book with his little paws! So cyooooot!) when hard graft yields nothing in comparison with lucky chance, what do we expect?

So in place of any thoughtful words today, in my incessant bid for talent-free blogging celebrity, I bring you a taste of the future from an Old Miaowster.

Miaow-na Lisa