Tuesday 15 January 2013

Migration Watch

As the snows descend it's only a matter of a few short months before the spring thaws, we can leave our hibernation bunkers and welcome the return of many native and alien species from their over-winter locations. But as ever, we must guard against the cuckoo and its ilk. 

When the Brent Geese depart our shores and the swallows return to bring joy to our skies, spare a thought for those areas invaded by the Canada Goose. This native of a foreign land has settled, without invitation, here in Britain blighting many regions with its heavy-handed and domineering presence. They move onto recreational ground, displacing and out-breeding other species, leaving nothing but shit and destruction wherever they go. 

Such a problem is the influx of foreign species into an environment not prepared for them that in 2008 the NNSS – the Non-Native Species Secretariat was set up. The secretariat is vigilant against the arrival of such dangerous and malevolent imports as the Chinese Mitten Crab, the evil Giant Hogweed (Heracleum mantegazzianum, about which Genesis warned so very long ago) and the Siberian Chipmunk. Not to mention the Ruddy Duck! (Orville, that is. I hate that duck.)

So mercilessly do such marauders as the Japanese Knotweed take over and destroy our property that our home-grown parasites are helpless against its advance. For such reasons we vigorously control the influx of alien pests from outside Britain, from Africa’s killer algae through Mexico’s Colorado Beetle to the voracious American Mink. So why should we not extend the same cautious attitude to the top predator of our planet?

On the Andrew Marr show on Sunday, Eric Pickles was pressed to estimate how many Romanian and Bulgarian non-native types were expected to arrive in 2014, when our border controls become utterly ineffective. He couldn’t put a number on it because nobody knows. But what is widely known is the general public attitude, expressed here by the eponymous people's newspaper. None

Billy Bunter could, however, declare that even before the inevitable happens we already have a shortage of housing that will be made even worse, as new migrants, who will have been well-briefed as to their rights, displace many of our native species from the social housing lists. Tell us something we didn't know! 

The 1883 poem "The New Colossus" on the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty may state "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." But that was another century and a very different, empty continent, crying out for hands to work the land and make fortunes from its vast, untapped resources. Our land is not vast and its resources are already under strain. Even more immigration is a slap in the face of all those settled here who can’t find jobs. It will serve as a constant depressor of wages and foment yet more and more crime and exploitation, more civil unrest and insurrection. 

Fuck Right Off!

We should have a statue not of liberty but of incarceration and our Statue of Captivity should be engraved – “Fuck off home, where you belong. We don’t want you here.” Racist? If that’s what you’re calling survival these days, I’ll take it.


  1. I blame the left-wing Wildlife-loving publications, aka The Groan and The Illdependent, for their continuing support in bringing dangerous and demanding wildlife to these shores. The Bulging British Communist group also support these Ideals.

    As these publications are solely read by people whose gardens are well fenced (and who could afford to have a new garden in say, the Bahamas or Tuscany) or who have allotments in pleasant areas, their continuing efforts to bring more species here is disgusting. Native species downgraded and replaced because someone reading about the aggressive but limited intellect Pollybee thinks more here is better for the people who have to endure it.

    Of course, the fear is that some of these ravenous and unappealing species were badly treated in their native habitat, so that trumps all objections. In bringing them here, they can continue their practices afresh while being funded by the despised local fauna. But never will a word be said about this.

    1. So, covert extermination the only plausible solution then? I like your thinking...