Wednesday, 31 December 2014

I hate you all!

On a small island in a vast ocean survives the clan humankind. In the early days disease and famine and the odd incident of mutual predation claimed sufficient lives to keep their numbers small, scattered and relatively malnourished until ‘the idea’ arrived. The idea was a seismic shift in humankind’s relationship with itself and its environment and pretty soon the flatness of life on the edge became leavened by the sweet, sweet triumph of dominion over this isolated little world.

The tribe of man transcended the trials of life as just another competing animal and one by one their predators and their fears became extinct. With cooperation they built shelters and grew crops, hunted more game and began to make a better life for all mankind. A division of labour combined with the power of numbers made a happy formula for peace and love and harmony all round, so some believe. And then came politics.

With its divisive propaganda, turning man against man, politics took over where religion had left off. Splitting people into churches was all well and good for starting wars, which were excellent for acquiring wealth in the days before you could just rip people off electronically. But with a relatively small number of faiths you could only go so far and folk tended to cleave to their church rather too loyally for true mayhem.

But eventually politics got what it secretly always wanted – every man against every other man – that way nobody had a clue what was going on anywhere and the political big beasts could play their games with impunity. Now there is no need for laws tested by time and trial and enemies of the state can be arrested on the whim of just about anybody with a grudge. And just as emperors of old could give themselves grandiose titles, so people such as ‘diversity tsars’ and ‘equality princesses’ can order the detention of all whom they despise.

This week Katie Hopkins has been declared persona non grata by an entire nation, for her use of the hateful, despicable hate word, ‘Jocks’. And today we hear in the news that she has been reported to police by a ‘size acceptance campaigner’ (I shit you not) for the even greater hate crime of declaring a spade a spade. I have to say that you can have as much sympathy as you like but if you don’t find a lardarse self-styling her mission as a 'fat activist' ironically funny you don’t deserve the protection of the law.

Ah'm no fat... ah'm big-boned...
A Fat Bastard Jockanese Activist (yesterday)

So, as we come to the end of the year, forget all the achievements of gritty men and women striving to make the world a better place. Don’t give a thought to applauding those who make it day by day through their own difficult circumstances with no help from anybody, but instead think very hard before you dare to accuse anybody of being the architect of their own misfortune. Or even worse, before you accuse anybody of lacking a sense of humour. 2014 is the year hate speech became the ultimate weapon against free speech. I’m saying nuffink.


  1. Thank you once again, Batsby, for your marvellous, sensible blog. As ever, you are absolutely 'bang on the money'.

    I wish you long life, good cheer and a Happy New Year!