Tuesday, 29 March 2016
It’s like playing a game where only the other side knows the rules; as if the whole stack of Community Chest cards is being kept under the table in a game of Monopoly. But hey, when the reckoning comes I reckon I’m not too bothered by the rules because I’m winning by a mile and the game doesn’t really matter anyway; it’s not real life. There is something peculiar about the game of ‘debating’ on Twitter – Twitterbate - whereby the laws of physics, economics, and simple human decency don’t apply equally to both sides.
For there are but two sides, despite all the pretence at nuance and differentiation. These can roughly be equated to left and right, or if you are playing the game properly and fully engaging in the Cosplay, ‘Heroes for Social Justice’ versus ‘Evil Corrupt Tory Scum’. The left’s chosen monicker – blazoned across their cape - is confused because, nobody really has a firm, fixed idea of what constitutes social justice, except that it is ‘the opposite of everything the Tories believe in’.
By way of explanation I ought to rough out what general population Tories believe (as opposed to governmental Tories who are actually social democrats). They believe in self-reliance, personal pride, a fair day’s work for a fair day’s pay, opportunity for all, pulling together, pulling your weight if you can and if you genuinely can’t, having your weight borne equitably by the rest. The idea is to lift everybody up; gratitude isn’t necessarily required, but it is at least expected that you show you deserve the leg up.
The left on the other hand – thinking this is somehow fairer – seem to want to pull everybody down. Or if they don’t believe this they are doing a pretty poor job of demonstrating otherwise. Like the ISIS of the west, they far prefer demolishing Palmyra than accepting its existence because it doesn’t accord with their narrative. Hell, they won’t even re-use the raw materials, crushing the work of millions of man-hours into dust to remove any reminder of former accomplishment. History is after all, like the rules of the game, theirs to command and if they want to knock over the board when they are put in check, well...
In order to win the game the left’s rules allow the complete change of subject, venue, the game itself and the repeated denial of their own losing position. A favourite high-ground gambit is to attempt to bring the opposing players into disrepute – shouting Tory scum, racist, profiteer and all that - but if that doesn’t work, other cheats are available. Starting riots, for instance, hoping to distort the game so the spectators are confused enough to believe them when they say they won after all.
It's just not cricket... is it?
So, as the caped crusaders for love and justice and compassion and their own peculiar version of ‘the truth’ (Thatcher!) set about trashing the joint so that nobody else can play; bursting the ball, pulling on their goalpost jumpers and crying foul, the right calmly picks up the winnings and moves on to fight the next battle. Politics? It’s more like a bunch of squabbling kids.