Black Power

So we won. The white man is finally eradicated and with him goes his hateful history. During black history month, which now extends throughout our entire schooling, we learn how literally nothing was invented by anybody other than ‘black coloured persons of black colour’ – as we now refer to ourselves - and no place on Earth was ever improved by the presence of the genetically inferior white race.

But they are gone now and it is marvellous. We no longer have to watch television and movies written, directed, produced distributed and broadcast by whites and including almost entirely white casts. I mean whoever heard of a white Duke of Wellington, or a white Mr Pickwick, for instance? The whites colonised our media and you could hardly turn on the television for seeing white faces and hearing the frankly dreadful strains of white accents and that awful, awful diction. Feel me, blud?

It was soon decided that television and radio and movies and theatre were so tainted with whiteness that, rather than reform it, it was better to do away with it altogether. Now nobody goes to the theatre and nobody broadcasts news, shows, or any form of televisual entertainment. Netflix, a white invention, was dissolved early in 2050 and now there are no reminders of the so-called ‘golden days of Hollywood’. It is like television and film never existed. Good.

The white man brutalised our proud black nations, building disgusting metal bridges over our pristine rivers and scarring the landscapes with roads, railways and power lines. And even the skies were polluted by the incessant drone of jet engines as flight after flight obscured our blue skies in ugly contrails. They came and discovered resources we had no use for and then just took them. They took coal and oil and diamonds and gold and turned them into things they considered had value.

Disgusting, venal whites, with their rule of law and their education and their medicine and their insistence on forever trying to improve on nature. They could never understand how offensive it was to be shown that things we never even knew existed could be utilised to make things we never knew we wanted for reasons entirely borne from aspiration, an instinct we neither asked for nor exercised.

Aspiration! The white disease. We were perfectly happy as we were before the white races came and ruined our mental landscapes for good. But not content with rubbing our noses in our own lack of vision they took our brightest and best and made them successful in their countries on their terms. How dare they! Just because we had no competing supremacist culture, it didn’t mean we didn’t yearn for a supremacy all of our own.

We had to observe the disgusting spectacle of proud black men wearing ugly western clothes, handling vast amounts of ugly western money, then trying to entice us to follow suit. At one point they even had the temerity to force black and brown people to help run their own countries. Yes, they took slaves from Africa and Asia and actually forced them to work in their governments and help shape their policy. You can only imagine the insult we felt.

Even when we rioted to demand more from them they just shrugged, apologised and rebuilt all the shit we’d broken. They didn’t fight back, which is the point when we realised we need be slaves to white imperialism no longer. So we broke free from our enslavement to modernity and wealth and health and all of that. We rejected their malevolent charity; spurned their generous welfare system. That showed them!

Rejoice!

Now, you must excuse me. I have to get back to my vegetable plot. The family needs to eat and I have much to do with my rudimentary hand tools before it gets dark. We have no need of electricity or gas, and when it gets cold we can usually gather enough animal hides to keep us from freezing to death. Life is so much more ‘vibrant’ without the whites. If only we could get the water back on…