Just do it

Well, that was all I needed yesterday. There I was at breakfast, sucking the last bits of sweet, succulent flesh from the bones of the baby we barbecued on Saturday evening – babies are so much better on the barbie ,as all that fresh young fat keeps the flesh marvellously moist – when, out of the blue rinse, a super-annuated ‘committed socialist’ who was ‘passionate about social justice’ decided to call me a racist and condemn my rabid ranting… on account of my having retweeted this. Well, I wasn’t having that, so I reached for a scrap of parchment, made from the flayed skin of some insignificant peasant (it makes great writing paper - nice and thin after a lifetime of regular tanning) settled back into my chair made from an overstuffed relative of Diane Abbott (who is coming along nicely, by the way) and began to pen a reply.

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s marvellous that the old dear is still shuffling about, using up oxygen but really, claiming that those who pay virtually ALL the taxes are unable to make rational deductions, run the country fairly and make ethically sound judgements? You’d think that having lived through a fair number of Labour administrations she might have cottoned on to the cycle of bust and bust they always bring about. But no, so here we go again having to explain to the toothless old dinosaurs of a Labour-that-never-was that wantonly spending the workers’ money while never improving the lot of ‘the poor’ is practically the definition of ‘financial illiteracy’. If even the sainted Maggie couldn’t get that through their thick skulls it’s little wonder the rest of us have mostly given up.

But here’s the real nub of it. Whether you choose to acknowledge it or not, we have some major problems right now which are beyond our power to solve as long as we remain in the grasp of the unelected commissioners of the socialist comrades' great big European Onion. Our borders are like semi-permeable membranes allowing those who wish us harm to osmotically ooze from one side to the other; our welfare system is out of control and beyond easy reform; our sense of national identity is being systematically eroded year on year and our education system serves a politically driven dogma, rather than the needs of its charges. We have a collective inertia we are powerless to reverse as nobody has their hands on the wheels of this runaway soon-to-be-failed state. Our glorious past is well and truly behind us.

I can’t be a Tory any more, as there are no Tories left. I could never support Labour because its adherence to a culture of equality at the level of the lowest common denominator can only ever end in abjection. And I still have no idea who the Libdems represent… or why. The Greens are a hopeless jumble of communism and new-age, Mother Nature mumbo-jumbo and the SNP hate the English so much I can virtually feel the hot, toxic saliva dripping from their slavering jaws every time they tell us this. Which leaves Ukip.

I liked Ukip when they were the alternative Tory Party. I like them less now they have so many ex-Labour bottom feeders in tow. But one thing is absolutely for certain and that is without Ukip’s relentless focus on the sheer idiocy of rule from Europe we wouldn’t even be close to having a referendum on our continuing membership. But of course it will be rigged. David Cameron’s supposed ‘re-negotiation’ will be nothing of the kind. Instead we will get meaningless, already agreed and insignificant ‘concessions’, dressed up with the aid of EU bribe money and packaged for sale to the gullible public. The date for the referendum will be ‘whenever we think we can guarantee a yes vote’ and – as a whole – the stupid British public will vote to stay shackled.

They’ll say we need to be in the EU to have a voice, to be heard, to have power and influence in the world, to keep our friends and trading partners… to effect any change at all. But look around; I’d say ISIS with apparently few friends and little in the way of an economic base or any coherent policies are doing pretty well. They’ve changed the game; they’ve changed the world. And they’ve done it just by doing it. If we don’t leave the EU they won’t let us go. Only we can do it, nobody else will do it for us. So there you go @Hepworthclare OBE, if you think my defending the notion of saving our little island from a life of desolate subservience is racist, then you’re as much an idiot as your bio suggests. Oh and you and your hero Ed ‘Beaker’ Miliband can just do it... fuck off, that is.