Sanguine, that’s me, or so some think; cheerful in
apparently adverse circumstance. Others believe me dour and pessimistic. And
yet more have in the past remarked on my impassivity and calm in the face of
the shit storm, remaining imperturbable and somewhat nonchalant as all around
empires crumble and the mighty are impotent to stem the tides… or at least, the
photocopier is up the spout again and we’re out of milk.
The thing is, I really don’t see the point in getting all
worked up about stuff; no rational reason to get too excited – only disappointment
will follow. No, stay grounded and the Earth will turn, the sun will rise, the
weather systems will run their regular seasonal gamut of change and no matter
the prophecies and prognoses of all the well-paid hot air spouters we have
genuinely seen it all before. The same with pretty much all disasters and chaos, natural or
man-made.
While I can readily agree that to send aid to destitute
victims of floods and famine, terror and tragedy, is ‘a good thing’, I don’t see
why I need to be emotionally involved. It strikes me that a mewling, keening,
ululating display of mourning and garment-rending for people who I don’t know,
will never know and with whom the most interaction I will ever have is maybe
dropping loose change into a tin, is entirely unnecessary. I want neither their
gratitude nor their never-ending dependency; in fact if I do put money in a tin
the most likely reason is that I just want rid of the shrapnel.
Each to his or her own, I say. We have enough to do just
to look after our own hearth, never mind the rest of the world. Charity really
should begin – and in many cases end – at home. Look after the pennies, they
say, and the pounds will look after themselves. The same applies to humanity –
sort out your own shit and don’t go looking for a mission until you have done
so. Far too many people take umbrage on behalf of others, or take up cudgels
for lost and unworthy causes when their time would far better be spent taking
personal responsibility.
All of which – and more besides – is why I could never be
a politician. Pretending to care about things I know nothing about, spouting
supposed ‘opinions’ which are every-ready to change, depending on the audience.
Promising solutions to problems I don’t fully understand with money whose
production I know little about. Like Jeremy Clarkson, or Katie Hopkins I would
look about me and laugh at the little people… because they are, quite frankly, hilarious.
The answer to pretty much every question...
So, there’s no point in trying to wind me up on The
Twitter, or trying to persuade me of some noble cause that involves people whose
significance to me is as an ant on an elephant hide. I’m not without emotions
but they are mine and mine alone and I don’t deploy them, Diana-like, to be
part of some weird drone-driven hive-mind of morbid mediocrity. My Twitter
profile says “No need to argue; I'm always right.” Take that as read and we’ll
get on fine when I’m King.
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