WWLD? (What would Lulu do?)

The Jockanese are on the march again, woading up, dressing in man-skirts and screaming “Frrrrreeedom!” from the boggy, boggy braes… the noo. But freedom from what, exactly? They seem happy to remain wedded to an unequal distribution of state funding that the Welsh would kill for. They seem to be very keen indeed to drive policy from the back seat of Labour’s underpowered clown car and they are inordinately fond of calling resources procured largely by investment from England’s Exchequer ‘Scotland’s oil and gas’. So what is it, Jimmy, whit de ye wan’?

Because, convinced as I am that Britain’s best interests lie outside the deadly cold embrace of the European Union, it would be hypocritical of me to suggest you stay within a club you so clearly despise. Scottish Nationalism can be whatever colour it wishes; you can be as red as Mao’s little book or as blue as the sainted Maggie. You can even turn yellow and sit on the Lib Dem fence if you wish. But make up your bloody minds, will you? 55% was it? 55% voted against independence? And yet about 120% of you now seem intent to vote for the party of separation. Down here in your personal piggy bank we’re all getting a mite pissed off with it all.

We’re happy for you to stay, or happy for you to leave. But not bloody happy for you to stay and then act like churlish children, holding the country to ransom and threatening disruption. And not happy for you to ‘leave’ yet still keep bringing your washing home and cleaning out the fridge every weekend. You have to choose and stick with your choice. Of course Nicola Sturgeon is going to agitate for another referendum and of course it’s going to fail again out of fear of the unknown – oh how I wished for you to vote ‘yes’ last time. But just like every UK government’s tenatious dalliance with the EU this thing isn’t going to go away any time soon.

The one thing that can be said for the rise of Wee Jimmy Sturgeon is that it will have focused the minds of many of the oppressed majority to maybe try to head things off at the pass. For years the English have been the beaten and bruised underdog of the dis-United Kingdom, yet we’ve had to fund the architects of our own impoverishment for many decades. It’s high time somebody asked us whether or not we are happy to remain ball-and-chained to two socialist regions in Wales and Scotland and further shackled to the unholy collection of disparate economies in Europe. It’s time for the English to vote for England and with St George’s Day tomorrow, now is the time for our own rally.

The United Kingdom of St George

Yes, you say, it’s all well and good touting a gut feeling that we’d be better off on our own, but what of the detail? Where is the analysis of our trading position, our influence, our standing in a post UK, post EU world? Well, don’t ask me, ask ‘them’. Where is it? Not one single so-called ‘expert’ has the first inkling of a glimmer of a clue what would happen after a successful OUT referendum, so I reckon our chances are pretty good. What is for certain is that 60-million (a very conservative estimate of the population of England alone) are not going to starve, or stop producing, buying and selling stuff. So what have we got to lose? It’s time to ditch the ballast that has been slowing us down for years and crack on with rebuilding our mixed up, muddled up, shook up world… ‘cept for Lulu?