Damned if we do, damned if we don't.

Syria? Almost the only thing I know with absolute certainty about Syria is that it will all go horribly wrong. Why wouldn't it? Rarely do foreign policy favours bring the reciprocation we hope for and whereas we might have all sorts of plans to get involved my guess is nobody has even an inkling of how long it will last, what the outcome will be and how in the world we will get out. One thing is guaranteed though; we will make yet more enemies and it’s odds-on that yet more British troops will end up dead.

And it will all be the fault of middle-aged white men. Again. I now heartily agree with all the clamour for quotas – let’s get women, representatives of all races and religions and at least tokens of every special interest group into government and let THEM fuck it all up, because fuck it up they will. The country is screwed because the politically correct pursuit of diversity at all costs means we no longer have any cultural norms and in the absence of norms anything goes. But we middle-aged white men will still get all the blame… for everything.

Multiculturalism, radical feminism, hate crime legislation, the relentless pursuit of nebulous equality by any means, welfare state dependency, child centred education, uncontrolled borders, monocultural ghettoes, hands-off policing, marginalisation of British identity and banning of conkers are all labelled as ‘progressive’, while every white middle-aged bloke questioning the wisdom of such polices is called reactionary… as if that was ‘a bad thing’.

I wouldn't mind so much if we were just ignored but, not only do we get the blame we also come in for ridicule against which we have no defence because it’s all our fault and we have to suck it up: The black guys point and laugh ‘cause we got no style. We can say stuff like that because, obviously, we are all racists as well. According to Lee Jasper and Diane Abbott only white people can be racist – but they surely don’t include women in that because women have the ickle babies and are therefore sacrosanct.

The feminists blame us for their having this onerous responsibility and form themselves into Angry Vagina militias (Thank you, Twitter’s @IvorGrumble)  and when Nick Ross so much as mentions the R- word he is vilified because as a white male he has absolutely no right to have an opinion on this or any other matter involving a woman’s body. I can almost imagine a future when all women adopt the burka not because of our terrible male oppression but as a reaction against it. We are monsters after all, aren't we?

But, see, here we are in reality quietly getting on with stuff. Not getting in anybody’s way, not doing anything to actually upset anybody – if anything, going out of our way to integrate into society and not cause offence by our mere existence. The bad stuff is not the fault of ALL of us; that is down to the actions of an unrepresentative radical minority who pass laws, control policy and drive the economy. We’d say sorry if it made any difference. But it won’t make any difference, will it?

 Yes, yes, the white middle-age, middle class blokes are whinging again; it's practical all you ever hear from this entitlement-obsessed, marginalised ethnic group. But all we really want is to be allowed to fit in and quietly get on with making stuff work. We aren't the bad guys here, but if we’re upsetting so many people in so many ways we must be doing something right. So fuck it,we may as well wade into Syria because if we don't that will be our fault as well.