Monday, 27 May 2013

Keep calm and watch out for wasps.

What are you doing here? Seriously, it's a bank holiday AND the weather is looking, if not good, at least half decent for once. Okay it's going to get cloudy later, if it isn't already. And temperatures are hardly record-breaking for the time of year. And it is going to be rather windy in places... but if you keep everything lashed down, keep a woolly pully to hand and drink heavily it might just turn out okay. You might want to have an umbrella handy.

That, after all is The British Way. No fuss, no flowers; keep calm and make tea. Oh and if you want to be dangerously continental you could have one of those barbecue affairs, or a picnic. Or you could get out the family jalopy and drive to a nice lay-by off the dual carriageway and sit there in the car, in your anoraks, looking at the traffic while eating meat paste sandwiches and drinking stewed tea from a flask. Or you could take the kids to a theme park and rediscover the forgotten British art of queuing... and tutting.

Or, read a book, potter in the garden, chat to the neighbours over the garden fence, tut about the youth of today and say "mustn't grumble" as much as you like. Because the one thing that we need to be doing right now, more important than any amount of setting up task forces, 'opening dialogues', 'learning lessons' and not 'listening', is just getting along, living and letting live and setting the right examples. Being British, in other words.

Fire up the barbie - dial 999

What you will NOT have read about today in the news is that several billion children did not die of starvation, nor were they sexually abused or trafficked in any way. News that thousands of war memorials around the UK have not been desecrated has been slow to filter through to the mainstream media and you will  see no reports whatsoever about the literally millions of cars that remain unstolen on British roads.

So enjoy your bank holiday, take it easy and try not to get too angry about anything. Oh and watch out for wasps.

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