Sunday 9 October 2011

Mendacious Maxim

Many hands make light work. Indeed they did, amongst them the hands of Allessandro VoltaAndré-Marie Ampère and good old 'Ohmsey', of whom (the more astute readers may have observed) I am an enormous fan. But it's also said that too many cooks spoil the broth.

In the same vein fools rush in, yet he who hesitates is lost and while the end may not justify the means, all's well that ends well. They say you shouldn't judge a book by its cover and yet if it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck and walks like a duck... you get the picture.

If there's one thing you want in life it's a reliable adage, if only to sell self-help books. If you fail to plan you plan to fail and all that, but two can play at that game and two wrongs don't make a right, you see?

So, come the new dawn I will only allow those sayings whose advice is undeniably useful, accurate and downright pithy. For example 'the geek shall inherit the earth' has an eerily prophetic ring when you consider the likes of Bill Gates... and all the bankers. For you inveterate beast-keepers, 'scratch a cat and you have a job for life' and for you oldies, 'if life's a joke, I'm beginning to get it'.

If you've arrived here via Twitter you may like 'great groups from little icons grow' or 'know what to expect before you connect'. In the age of short-form communication, I guess 'a tweet in the hand is worth two in the blog'. It's a game anybody can play and as it's Sunday and I'm at work all day you could cheer me right up by contributing your own aphorisms in the comments box, down there, see? Finest contribution gets some sort of prize, probably.

Me? I always abide by the immortal words of Rik Mayall (same birthday, much prettier - check it out!) in the Comic Strip's Mr Jolly Lives Next Door: "Never ever, bloody anything. Ever. I've lived my life by that rule!"

Happy Sunday Dinglings


  1. It's easier for a rich man to enter heaven than it is for a camel

  2. Imitation is the sincerest form of being a cockspank

  3. Absence makes the heart grow fungus

  4. Does the Pope shit in the woods? Are bears Catholic?

  5. Red sky at night- Shepherds pie

  6. Nice one, Ken. At the moment I'm liking the absence one...

  7. And the winner is, 'absence makes the heart grow fungus'. Step up and claim your prize.