Saturday 1 October 2011

Titled Idiots

Today I am exercised by job titles. What a meaningless indicator of true purpose they often are. Many moons ago I had reason to consort with the Rational Rose 'Evangelist'. (I know; me neither!?) A job title should scream out loud how that person justifies their pay package; if it doesn't maybe they're not.

What about the following fascinating occupations;  can you guess?

  1. Manager of Deep Web Research
  2. Assistant Catering Manager
  3. Chief Logistics Facilitator
  4. Director of First Impressions
  5. Social Media Maven

More importantly, can you guess their relative worth to their employers?

I don't mind so much because titles are important indicators of worth and any titles that are not self-explanatory automatically denote functions that are redundant. For instance 'salesman' says that here is a person who sells stuff. I want to encourage him to sell even more stuff because he'll keep my business buoyant. But 'retail account executive' is simply an idiot who takes orders over the counter.

You're fooling nobody. In the new kingdom you can have the fanciest job title you like but don't expect any respect. So, have a quick check of your business card and see if you can rate your chances of still being in a job a year from now.

Batsby. King. Says all you need to know.
The translations, by the way:

  1. YouTube monitor - we used to call him the apprentice.
  2. Barstaff - more title, no more pay.
  3. Truck driver - for the only truck in the business.
  4. Receptionist - sorry, they're all PAs now.
  5. Twitter follower and Facebook friend - nobody knows what their real job is, but this is what they actually do all day.

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