Justice Fingers

Just when you thought you’d heard all the fuckwittery possible, news just in about the future-world-you-never-asked-for prospect of an online judicial system. Billed as e-Bay style courts to settle small claims and the like, how long before some bright spark suggests extending its visibility to the general public? In fact why not make trial by social media a reality and present the facts to a jury of millions; what could possibly go wrong? It could even pay for itself by a text or PayPal voting system, thus getting the ‘jurors’ to pay not only for the service but for the claims themselves.

I reckon we may be onto something here. I make a claim against a client who hasn’t paid me for work done and if I can make my case funny enough or pathetic enough for sufficient voyeurs to vote, who cares if he pays up? I can be compensated from the voting proceeds and he can suffer the sort of damage to personal reputation that only a Twitter mob in full howling, spitting fury can mete out. Actually, strike that, it could of course be far worse than Twitter… it could be mumsnet.

Given the number of high profile criminal trials that are wrecked by leaks to the media, or prejudicial reporting maybe the way forward for the criminal bar is to go the whole hog and get digital; www.verdictsonline.com could replace much of the reality television schedules as real criminals are cross-examined by instant chat and the evidence examined and pored over by every conspiracy theory nut on the planet. Yep, I reckon that would work. The old judge pun 'Justice Fingers' brought to life by fingers on keyboards and smartphones and tablets everywhere.

Cyber Justice - fact and fiction

Of course, before any of that justice stuff hits the ether wouldn’t it be a step forward to democratise politics again with things like cabinet selection and policy proposals up for approval or otherwise by the disenfranchised voters who are currently resigned to more of the same? Sure, we’d end up with White Dee or Katie Hopkins in post but could they really serve us worse than our current crop of pretentious, mollycoddled Oxbridge overlords?