Monday, 20 July 2015
I’ve been busy. I’m always bloody busy. But not so busy I didn’t catch the general drift. The Queen’s a secret Nazi, the Tories are trying to sell off the doctors, some obviously made-up story about Iran and ‘nucular’ and Jeremy Corbyn is hot favourite to become glorious leader now they have ‘done the math’ and discovered what an amazing fuck up Ed made of the job. Of course he is; Labour’s answer to a crushing defeat shown to be mostly because of Ed being too far to the left of the people they hope to represent is to lurch even further left. And this brings us, naturally, to the EU.
Monsieur Hollande wants to bring in a Eurozone government to prevent anybody ever daring again to threaten to leave the Euro. Greece’s failings inside the club had nothing to do, he says, with the club and its rules. But to guard against anybody trying to bring that charge to bear he believes we need… a bigger club. In this feature in the Sydney Morning Herald he is quoted as stating: "What threatens us is not an excess of Europe but its insufficiency". In a statement of breath-taking obliviousness he goes on to blame populist movements (code for ‘evil democracy’) for weakening EU institutions.
He also believes that a desire for self-determination has arisen not from the heavy-handed way in which the EU simply ignores things like, you know, national referendums or local legislation or the declared will of the people; neither from the way it routinely ignores agreements and levies fines and financial demands that formerly sovereign nations are powerless to refuse, but because we are "scared of the world, because they want divisions, walls and fences to return". No, Mister Dutch, we’re not afraid of the world; we’re afraid of the future you and your power-crazed co-conspirators want to bring about.
Can't you see how the European Union has ended strife and enmity between nations? Witness how total, unchecked freedom of movement has solved the housing crisis, made our national defences more robust and allowed you to sleep easy at night. Observe the utter extinction of all expressions of malcontent among Europe’s happy and prosperous general population. And witness how everybody has total freedom of expression without the fear of going to jail for challenging the legitimacy of uber-equal treatment for any and all practises and beliefs, however minor or perverse or potentially harmful they may be in the feeble minds of mere citizens. The rise of the ‘ophobia’ is glorious testament to how completely integrated we all now feel. By law.
What was the fucking point, Europe? What?
If this was a movie we would be rolling in the aisles. If it was a documentary we would be staring at the telly in disbelief and wondering how they could keep a straight face. And if it was in the newspapers we would be tutting about the manipulative agenda of the mainstream media. I watched the movie Fury the other night. If you’d said back then that all that muck and mayhem was for nothing and that the Germans would have no need to park their tanks on our lawn; that we would invite them and the French to take over our governance and meekly lie back and let them shit all over us, they would have said you were mad. But it is true; we are mad. And I, for one, am mad as hell.