Bunch of Cnuts

One of my favourite truisms is that if you torture a statistic long enough it will tell you whatever you want to know. Of course this is also the backbone of the Amnesty brigade who will produce enough numbers to convince the weak and mild that information extracted by torture is never reliable, no matter how many lives have been saved. By the accounts and accounting of the multiculturalists a newly arrived immigrant family with four dependent sickly children, supported by one cleaner on minimum wage and working just enough hours to retain maximum welfare payments is a net benefit to the economy. And – so ‘they’ say - attacking ISIS will be worse than useless because it is all our fault in the first place. Global warm-change-ice-ageing, apparently.

So many experts, so little agreement. Why do stockbrokers go bust? Why does the weather not do exactly what the BBC told us it would do? What happened to the general election Labour landslide? Does the toast ALWAYS land butter side down? And – seriously – what unassailable good HAS the EU been responsible for which could not have been negotiated between sovereign nations? With the exception of the butter-side-down urban myth, which could be proved wrong by simple experiment, nobody ever has enough information to make sense of most freak number-fests and in most cases gut instinct and confirmation bias are the prime movers in choosing a side.

Once upon a time our ape-like ancestors worked out that in the daytime warmth and light and food was to be had and when the sun went down food was what you might become, for the night predators. One little monkey claimed he knew how to make sure the sun rose every day and set himself up as High Priest. Not a bad little number. Yes, there were the sacrifices but you have to remember this was way before Twitter. Religions come and go, but each bears many of the hallmarks of its predecessor and each has its high priest and rules... so many rules. But, with the exception of the religion of piss, most are harmless enough these days.

The west is doing its best to avoid tackling ISIS head-on, but boy is it ready to take on the tides and the seasons. The Paris token world leaders’ Climate Change Bunfight is ready to fund a Superman to stop the world turning if needs be in its ambition to do whatever the new godhead demands. And the mass of unreliable data to input to the computation of human-created climate catastrophe is big enough to boggle the combined brains of every expert on the planet. Nobody knows the whole truth about what is going on with the weather (although it just looks like autumn to me and who really gives a toss about Vanuatu?) which is just how new religions like it. The more incomprehensible the deity, the more complete the enthrallment.

God did it..

But just like religion, trade, government and power, if you want to seek the truth, follow the money, in both directions. Ask who stands to gain from the mass’s unquestioning belief in the climate industry and who will have to pay for it? It will take every penny of your hard-earned aspiration to hold back the relentless tides and any and all dissent must be silenced. Put up AND shut up, peasants; they’re talking directly to god now.