Lockdown Diary

Covid Lockdown, Day 23: Dear Diary, I have been keeping up my spirits by engaging in the fight for freedom and truth and social justice. This I do by retweeting all the evidence I have found online for the government’s criminal mishandling of the crisis. By evidence I mean the opinions of all the people I have yet to block on social media and by criminal mishandling I mean they are not MY government. Jeremy would have closed down the economy long before this shower got round to it.

I am on furlough thus receiving only 80% of my salary as a diversity and inclusion officer for a healthcare trust and I can tell you, £48,000 goes nowhere these days. Those on universal credit and pensions are still receiving their full entitlement, so this is blatant discrimination against me, a key worker at this time of national crisis. I applaud the ‘You clap for me now’ video but fighting against fascism is a full-time job and it is hard to realign social norms when working from home.

I can feel my revolutionary soul stirring with every day we are literally imprisoned by the system, in our own homes. So Boris, where is all the PPE? Yes, we’ve heard all of the lies from your Tory plants in our NHS, claiming they have plenty but one of my social media followers is a hard-working Labour activist on the front line at reception in a rural hospital and she is prepared to phone James O’Brien on LBC to claim they are down to only a week’s supply. So don’t try telling me the government is handling it.

As for the fake infection of the PM how come he was hospitalised only ten days after first symptoms and then recovered after only three in intensive care? That – I have it on the authority of Twitter – is impossible. So something smells fishy and I support Marcus Thingummy’s FOI request. And as for your recuperation, Johnson, you are rubbing the nose of the electorate in it by sitting out the war in your sunny garden in Chequers. You are literally Hitler and we will come for you when this is over.

Talking of fake, the amount of bullshit out there is ridiculous and the sycophantic fawning of the Tory BBC – The Ministry of Truth – over the government’s appalling handling of the crisis is sickening. When I want real news, untainted by right-wing bias I go to the only reliable source left, Novara Media. They are the only outlet I trust because they tell the truth without any of that partisan propaganda. All the other mainstream channels try to manipulate our thoughts and deeds, which must be resisted at all costs. I repeat, Boris Johnson is literally Hitler. 

And now I must leave, dear diary, for the sun is out and we have an anarchists' socially distanced meeting in the local park, although I expect the state’s stormtroopers will be there to break it up. Then, tonight I shall be clapping for the glory of the NHS, as required. Tomorrow is clapping for migrant workers, flying in to rescue our crops. The weekend is given over to clapping for BAME, as natural law now rightly insists. Monday is reserved for key-worker worship, which only gives us two nights to clap for social justice and bringing down the government. Power to the People!