Selling Socialism

One day the lockdown will be over; one day. And if I am any judge of human nature we will quickly get back to near normal. Maybe some nominal social distancing will continue for a while, but cash will definitely still be around much as people wish it would disappear; and people will still shake hands, so its probably back to business as usual. Of course, many forecasters are insisting that this isn’t good enough and that we will need to re-order all of society. I am expecting some token efforts, some weak campaigns for a ‘new’ normal. I wouldn’t be surprised to get a knock at the door:

Hello, do you have a few minutes? I’d like to introduce you to socialism.

Oh, yeah, what does that mean? Isn’t that where you run out of my money?

Margaret Thatcher said that. She was as bad as Hitler and she was so wrong.

Okay, so what does it really mean?

It means we all come together and care for each other, like we did in the coronavirus crisis. We all look out for one another; nobody goes hungry and we make a better world where the uber rich don’t get richer and the poor don’t keep getting poorer.

But I read somewhere that everybody is richer than they ever were.

Well, in so-called ‘real terms’ (does the quote-fingers) maybe so, but in relative terms the average working man is in abject poverty compared to the Bransons of this world.

You mean relative poverty as opposed to real poverty?

Relative poverty is real poverty. Denying that is what allows the rich to keep the rest of us as slaves.

But I don’t feel like a slave, I really don’t.

No, I expect that’s because you have a good job and live in a nice house in a nice area. What about all the people who live in overcrowded poverty in horrible areas?

Immigrants, you mean?

Let’s not go there; that’s a bit racist.

Do you mean the workshy council estate lot with loads of kids that live on the dole?

If you don’t mind me saying so that’s a bit bigoted. It is these very people we want to help. We need to step up and lift these people out of their destructive circumstances

Sterilise them, you mean?

Oh… Can we get back to socialism, please?

Okay, well what you said there sounds good, I’m on board with that. I mean, who doesn’t want everybody to have a decent living? How does it affect me?

Well, you will obviously have to pay more tax.

O-kaaay… how much more?

About 50% more.

But then I wouldn’t be able to live in my nice house. After saving for my pension I have nothing left over as it is. And then there’s the kids school fees coming up; I want them to have a good start in life.

Well, under socialism you wouldn’t have to worry about any of that because everybody would have free education.

Free?

Well, it would be provided by the state. There wouldn’t be any private education at all because that is inherently unfair.

But how come, even after people like me reducing the burden on the state, public education is still a bit, well, crap?

Ah, you see, under full socialism state education would be world class.

How so?

Because we would double investment in schools. Children are the future you kno…

Where does the state gets its money from?

Well, from the taxpayer, of course.

That’s me again isn’t it?

Only if you are in the private sector. If you worked for the state, as most people will, your tax is not relevant in as you will be paid from the public purse anyway.

But if most people work for the state, where does the state’s money come from?

The private sector, of course. For far too long they have been getting away with tax avoidance schemes and not paying their way. Under caring socialism they would have to pay their fair share.

But you already said my tax burden would go up by 50%

At least.

So, let me get this straight. You want me to sell my nice house in my nice area and move to a less nice house in a less nice area. Where’s my incentive to do that?

You would be contributing to a better world.

How is making me poorer, ‘better’?

It’s about equality, isn’t it? You see, we would be reducing unfairness.

Doesn’t seem very fair to me.

That’s socialism. Thank you for your time.