Thursday 29 March 2012

A New R-Ed Dawn

"By golly, Edward, we've done it!" cried the millipede
"For fuck's sake Ed, don't call me 'Edward'. The servants might hear and it would ruin our credibility" scolded OtherEd.
"No, you're right, darling" breathed Milly, "but we must make hay while the sun shines!"
"The forecast is turning cold, you know" warned OtherEd, "we don't have long."
"But, after pastygate, petrolgate and, er... the other one..."
"That's it! Stampgate! We've got them on the run! Victory is ours, surely?" rejoiced Milly

"Yes! We'll stamp the Bullingdon boys into the very ground they own..." OtherEd rubbed his hands together,. "We'll force their privileged snouts into the very troughs they gorge from. We'll string them up, stick their heads on pikes... there'll be toff blood running through the sewers! Millionaires' blood!"

"I say, Edward, don't you think that's going a bit too far?" said an anxious Milly. "After all, it was only a pasty and it's not as if we have any credible alternatives to offer, is it?"
"Oh, right," said OtherEd.
"Well, er... aren't we millionaires as well?" asked Milly?
"Well, yes, but..." blustered OtherEd, "we're, well we are a different type of millionaire altogether." And for good measure he repeated, "Altogether. And we're all in it together!"

And he said it with such belief that Milly melted and grasped his hand.
"Oh, Eddie..."
"Don't call me Eddie!"
"Oh, Ed. Do you think it's finally our time?" asked the blushing Milly
"Yes, darling," said OtherEd, tenderly, "It's a whole new dawn." He paused a moment, took a bite of his foie gras toast, dashed back the rest of his champagne, then struck a dramatic, triumphant pose against the rising sun, framed in the mullioned windows, "A new, red dawn!"

"Er..." queried Milly, "What do they say about a red sky in the morning?"


  1. Quite excellent. As much as I loathe the present crowd's incompetence they are still way ahead of the hypocrites of Labour and their millionaire bully boy Union pals.

  2. Shush! This isn't on general release yet! Sneak preview! (And how come you don't follow me on Twitter?! - or did the unfollow bug get you?)