It’s like playing a game where only the other side knows
the rules; as if the whole stack of Community Chest cards is being kept under
the table in a game of Monopoly. But hey, when the reckoning comes I reckon I’m
not too bothered by the rules because I’m winning by a mile and the game
doesn’t really matter anyway; it’s not real life. There is something peculiar
about the game of ‘debating’ on Twitter – Twitterbate - whereby the laws of
physics, economics, and simple human decency don’t apply equally to both sides.
For there are but two sides, despite all the pretence at
nuance and differentiation. These can roughly be equated to left and right, or if
you are playing the game properly and fully engaging in the Cosplay, ‘Heroes
for Social Justice’ versus ‘Evil Corrupt Tory Scum’. The left’s chosen monicker
– blazoned across their cape - is confused because, nobody really has a firm,
fixed idea of what constitutes social justice, except that it is ‘the opposite
of everything the Tories believe in’.
By way of explanation I ought to rough out what general
population Tories believe (as opposed to governmental Tories who are actually
social democrats). They believe in self-reliance, personal pride, a fair day’s
work for a fair day’s pay, opportunity for all, pulling together, pulling your
weight if you can and if you genuinely can’t, having your weight borne
equitably by the rest. The idea is to lift everybody up; gratitude isn’t
necessarily required, but it is at least expected that you show you deserve the
leg up.
The left on the other hand – thinking this is somehow
fairer – seem to want to pull everybody down. Or if they don’t believe this they
are doing a pretty poor job of demonstrating otherwise. Like the ISIS of the
west, they far prefer demolishing Palmyra than accepting its existence because
it doesn’t accord with their narrative. Hell, they won’t even re-use the raw
materials, crushing the work of millions of man-hours into dust to remove any
reminder of former accomplishment. History is after all, like the rules of the
game, theirs to command and if they want to knock over the board when they are
put in check, well...
In order to win the game the left’s rules allow the complete
change of subject, venue, the game itself and the repeated denial of their own
losing position. A favourite high-ground gambit is to attempt to bring the
opposing players into disrepute – shouting Tory scum, racist, profiteer and all
that - but if that doesn’t work, other cheats are available. Starting riots,
for instance, hoping to distort the game so the spectators are confused enough
to believe them when they say they won after all.
It's just not cricket... is it?
So, as the caped crusaders for love and justice and
compassion and their own peculiar version of ‘the truth’ (Thatcher!) set about
trashing the joint so that nobody else can play; bursting the ball, pulling on
their goalpost jumpers and crying foul, the right calmly picks up the winnings
and moves on to fight the next battle. Politics? It’s more like a bunch of squabbling
kids.
