Lies, damned lies, statistics and politics

Who can you trust? It's a really important question.

Do you trust the weather forecasters? Do you trust the economists who alternately say cut or borrow or tax or spend or save? Do you trust the newspapers - ANY newspapers? Who DO you trust? Because if you can't trust anybody, the political classes have you exactly where they want you.

There are few outright political truths. We've rubbed along with a mixture of oppression and liberty, private and public, business and personal, war and peace for centuries without learning any outright truths. Would a truly unfettered economic system lead to prosperity? Would a truly controlled system lead to equality and fairness? The evidence is that neither has all the solutions, so we swing slowly this way and that, relying on the negative feedback of public opinion to determine the direction of the wind.

My perception is that the breeze is blowing from the West and setting our course towards the right after a prolonged period of intrusive leftist interference in people's lives. But from the East come the chill winds of opposition and the current opposition are masters of the bait and switch. All for one? Or every man for himself? As these air masses of ideology meet, Britain is trapped under a deep depression.

We are gearing up for the big race to the bottom; to the landfill where truth and integrity, principals and morals go to be buried under a giant mound of steaming bullshit. The big prize is a win in the 2015 general Election, seats on boards, snouts in troughs. The losers, as always, will be the British population at large because politics has long ceased to mean anything other than the least-worst choice between competing evils.

They would rather not compete for your vote - one day they will do away with your annoying interference in the grand plan - but for now (maybe not for long) they need you to choose sides. If they can't convince you of their merits they can turn you against the other side. If that is a dangerous proposition they can try and steer you to a third option that least badly affects their share of crosses in boxes. It's a dirty game and as in war, truth is the first casualty.

So, on the heels of UKIP's outstanding surge in Eastleigh it came as no surprise to find that Labour had planted Amy Rutland, a Labour skivvy, as a stooge in last night's BBC Question Time audience to vilify Farage's forces as racists and imply this was the view of the majority. The wee dupe was brought up short by the ever-rational Melanie Phillips' spirited and rational adjuration to grow up and stop the rot.

It won't happen, of course. Andy Burnham and Jeremy Hunt will trade lies about the NHS's fortunes under their relative administrations. David Cameron will tell lies about holding a referendum on EU membership. Ed Miliband will lie about Labour's contrition and weep crocodile tears as he apologises, fingers firmly crossed, for everything Tony Blair did and Ed balls will say "Flatlining!" every PMQs till polling day.

Lies, lies, lies. So who DO you believe? All you can do, I reckon is wake up, take a long hard look at yourself and decide if you want to be part of the solution, or part of the problem - they are both legitimate, if unequally meritorious viewpoints - and vote for the candidates or parties whose actions (not rhetoric) chime with your beliefs.

When I'm King, I will rule with a light touch and a benevolent hand. Honest ;o)

The Human Race

So, last night’s BBC Question Time was a hoot. Baroness Warsi ably swinging the handbag for the Conservatives against the feebly flapping hands of Labour’s plain old Miss Cooper (double-entendre intended), who had the temerity to engage in a tit-for-tat battle over the respective performances of this and the last government.

When the last administration was under Gordon Brown’s leadership, the best you can do is apologise, surely? But maybe she has something in her arsenal, something to deploy to land a knockout blow? Wait for it, wait for it… here it comes… And there it is, the emotive but tired and ultimately meaningless statistic that the 5% reduction in top rate tax means a £40,000 tax rebate for somebody earning a million pounds a year.

Meaningless? Of course it is. Is that the only thing Labour has? It must be; it’s the only thing I ever hear from them. Again and again and again. Steal from the rich to feed the poor. It won’t work and you should really read this excellent article to see why. Squeezing the rich is an utterly futile exercise which demonstrates that those who propose it really don’t understand either money, or human motivation.

Everybody should pay their share, of course, but nobody should be taxed at a higher rate in return for their industry or their good fortune. It’s called the human race and at a million squids per annum I would most definitely be winning (or at least I’d be through to the play-offs). Trying to take my prize off me is envious and stupid and anyway, you’d have to catch me first. And I’m winning, remember?

Which gets me on to the other big race, the 2012 Bahrain Grand Prix. I have no idea what’s happening. I don’t care. I don’t follow the sport and I have no real interest in whatever the Bahrainistas are up to, but I do know that it will make not one iota of difference to the prosperity of Britain whether the race goes ahead or not. For all the bleating and whining hot air that whooshed out of George Galloway's lying, hypocritical gob I'm sure that not a single B'rainie of influence lost a moment's sleep.

 You see, the Grand Prix is about rich people. And rich people really don’t care what you or I think about them. If we think too hard and get cross about them being rich they’ll just move – to Bahrain perhaps – and then we’ll never see another penny of their tax money again. Who will pay for everything then?