Are we still in Europe? Are we still in the United Kingdom, come to that? Who is the Prime Minister now? Really? No, go on, tell me the truth. Oh, still Cam-a-dam-a-ding-dong. So I haven't missed much - it seems such a long time since those lazy days of yule... yesterday.
Now back at work and still at my desk at 10pm, Monday, so stuff the politics and let's talk about life. Specifically how unfair it all is. I'll give you some examples:
When a man talks dirty to a woman it's sexual harassment. But when a woman talks dirty to a man it's £1.50 a minute. Networks may vary.
The opposite of flammable is not inflammable! That's outrageous; I'm non-furiated, non-candescent... non-censed!
And another: Anthony Worrall Thompson is done for shoplifting. If the world was fair he'd have been beheaded.
Have a lovely week and don't go about nicking stuff.