Tuesday 17 January 2012

Suffer the children

I have repeatedly informed my mother that I didn't ask to be born.

This is actually true. I say it for no other reason than to point out a fact. I count myself fortunate that empathy is not a delusion I suffer from. Similarly, I find it hard to put myself in the mindset of people who have convinced themselves their lives have purpose; that life has purpose. The most thoughtless act than can be perpetrated against another human being is to bring them into existence without considering where they're going to end up. (Very J-P Sartre, non?)

You're born - without your permission - then you survive until you die. Along the way you may (or may not) experience many happy occasions; count yourself lucky. It is also extremely likely you will suffer loss, hardship and even disease*. The balance of good and bad is down to a number of things, some of them, but only some of them, within your control. It is no doubt true that those with a positive outlook seem to have happier lives but which came first? There's plenty of evidence that a happy, privileged, easy lifestyle, free of anxiety about putting food on the table is highly likely to engender stacks of positive jolly hockey-sticketry .

It's also highly likely that a slum upbringing with its consequent abuses in and around the margins of humanity might just impart an overall negative bias to your contemplation of the world and all its works. The life chances of those at the arse end of the social spectrum are well argued in this article by Deborah Orr.

So, what's to be done? Generations of government intervention has failed to address the problem, so it appears that the ruling classes are powerless to prevent us ultimately being outbred by under-class vermin. I despise these people but I have to confess that I accept my cheap and effective sniper solution is unlikely to be generally acceptable. (I have no idea why that is.)

In any case, various types of genocide have already been trialled around the world and look at all the paperwork that caused! We've tried mockery, pointing and laughing at shellsuits, Pat Butcher earrings and the Croydon facelift. (Fake tits! Hilarious! Why?) The Victorians even went so far as to organise 'slumming trips' to observe the sub-human phenomenon at close hand. Today we have Jeremy Kyle. But it seems they truly have no shame.

So, we can't exterminate them, they don't respond to humiliation; what next? We might, finally, have to resort to treating the scumbags as if they were actually fully human. It's long been observed that although they don't know how it happens, once babies arrive they do display many of the symptoms of almost human love.

Well, scum, if you do love your children stop having them! Cease fucking this instant, for the sake of the babies. There. That should do it.

(*Not colds and flu - they don't even count as a reason to take time off work, you slackers - anything less than Ebola is tolerable).

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