Sunday 20 November 2011

Lyin' Eyes

I had a Daily Mail guilty pleasure session at about 0400 this morning. Always good for material, the Mail.

Anyway, I found this. The Saudi Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice are going for the big cover up. Should we dismiss it out of hand? Maybe, maybe not.

See, the Christmas lights are already on display in the window of the house opposite mine. I don't need that in my life, although on the basis of the eyes being the window of the soul, maybe the windows are the eyes of the household and I now know all I need to know. On the plus side it does save me expending any energy in making their acquaintance.

I make this an argument in favour of the cover up. Out of my sight, save me going out of my mind.

But here's another. Gail Porter has finally cracked and had herself utterly defaced with tattoos. She has nice eyes, so if she covered up all but her eyes we'd have no idea that she's an unhinged fruitcake and we need to know that stuff before making any kind of overture - we've all been there, after all.

Cover up, or don't cover up? Given that the eyes are the biggest liars in town maybe we should cover up all except our worst bits. That way, our snap judgements have a better chance of being on the money, even if we have to endure a few horrors. No, I now have a head full of images that have no place in any sane landscape.

Unless we adopt some form of universal branding mechanism - and don't think I haven't thought about it - the only rational way is to let it all hang out. Bollocks, that means I get to see Christmas lights from November to February again! Where did I put my sunglasses?


  1. I have always said that when you see these bloody houses done up like sick dog's dinners, the earlier,the chavvyivity, the grossly revoltingness of the Christmas decoration is ALWAYS directly proportional to the amount of benefits people are on.

  2. Want a job? You can be Minister for Keeping Chavistic Instincts in Check. Your ministry will be called, the Commission for Oversight of Chav Kretins. (C.O.C.K. for short) :-)