Sunday 11 September 2011

Work to Rule?

So, Len McClusky of the Unite union has stepped in to become, in an odd way, an ally of the cause. He is calling on members of the public to engage in 'civil disobedience' as a means to put pressure on the coalition to scrap their essential reforms:

Good on yer Len, lad! That'll do nicely.

Because, of course, any form of disobedience will be contrary to the rule of kings, which, in my case will be simply that you do as you are told. Now, whilst I have no intention of being a heavy-handed despot towards those who calmly get on with their lives, those who willingly put themselves in the way of my programme become, automatically, traitors. And under my rule traitors will be dealt with simply, swiftly and in all likelihood, finally.

Lest this sound at all draconian let me assure you that I have better things to do than go around spying on you, paranoid that you may be plotting my downfall. No, not at all, your kids and your neighbours will be doing the spying - a regime likes to reward its supporters.

So long as you are behaving yourselves you can do pretty much what you like; just don't start upsetting people. For instance, you may form a trade union, within your industry to discuss with your employers the appropriate working practices and remuneration. That's fair enough. But start talking about strikes and be assured I will get to know about it. Start disrupting the normal functioning of society and I'l get involved. And you wouldn't want to distract me from my golf, trust me.

So please, if you are a crackpot, a lefty-pinko-whinger, a lazy git, a troublemaker or a jumper-on of bandwagons, feel free to climb aboard Len's Civil Dis-Express, but don't expect an easy ride. All you'll be doing is giving me an excuse. For which I thank you... very likely posthumously.

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