Ever wanted to be in charge? Well, in my own little world I will be, one day. Just not quite yet. I'm a bit tired at the moment... maybe I'll take over after I've had my little nap.
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Did anybody expect anything more positive from Brussels?
The latest play in the interminable mind game that is the uneven contest
between the 27 other EU countries and the one domino that will topple the lot
is to give us ten days to ‘do better’. This is, of course, code for ‘capitulate’.
But from what we’ve seen so far – and always suspected – the collective that
calls itself the EU (but would be more correctly referred to as ‘the enemy’)
has no intention of bending. Far from it; should Theresa May offer them £40billion,
they would insist on 60. The goalposts are not so much moving as dancing.
And during it all the endless leaks of supposedly confidential
information. Tittle-tattle about he said/she said. Secret pacts, deals, Remainer
cabals, offside briefings and the relentless whine of diehard Europeans intent
on slandering all who voted leave as ill-educated, narrow-minded, xenophobic,
low-grade, old, clapped-out and rotten-to-the-core neo-Nazis. Gleefully they
tell each other that Leavers are dying out; one hard winter, they reckon and
the balance will tip.
It can’t escape anybody’s notice that the frenzy, the quasi-religious
fervour and the threats, cat-calls and jeers are coming, almost exclusively from
one side. If only they had the dignity displayed by the vast majority of Leavers
during the 40 long years of hope. Had we lost, they insist, we would be
behaving just the same, but it is simply not true. We may not have taken the
defeat lightly, but I like to think that – just as with the quiet certainty of
the right rest, in contrast to the shrieking fantasies of the left – Leavers
would have accepted the result, for now at least, and made the best of it.
But hey, the festive season is almost upon us and we have
ten days to ‘do the right thing’ and ‘improve’ our offer. Let’s join together
and celebrate in song with the Ten Days of Brexit.
On the Tenth day
The EU sent to me:
Ten Lords a-Leaking,
Seven Deadlines Slipping,
Six Geezers Braying,
Four Calling Foul,
Three Flying Fucks,
Two Fingers Raised,
And a Parliament
in a Quandary.
There, if that doesn’t bring peace and harmony throughout Euroland, I really don’t see what more we could possibly do.