Testing, testing?

Two tests a week, they are now saying. Take two lateral flow tests per week and report your findings via the government website. What could possibly be more reasonable than that, some may ask? But why would anybody buy into it? It’s okay, I guess, if you can work from home, and isolation isn’t an issue, but where does that leave the hands-on wage slave who simply can’t?

And quite apart from all that, given that so many people are convinced the entire Covid thing is either a sinister plot (to what possible end?) or else an overblown reaction to a perfectly survivable ‘flu’, what sort of participation rate do they expect? If, as the conspiracy theorists repeatedly claim, this has all been about controlling you, the idea of voluntary self-testing is the very opposite, given that it is so open to abuse.

Where are the controls to prevent you from simply reporting negative results? Or, even if individual tests were identifiably and traceably allocated to an individual, what is to stop a negative-testing family member from taking the swab? Is there even a way of telling whether the test was taken at all? And as for follow-up testing, would this only apply to those who reported positive? If negative reports were to be similarly investigated, I could see millions just not bothering.

Surely the time for testing was last year, except that a swathe of anti-government propaganda relentlessly poured cold water on the process. It has already cost a lot of money for test and trace to fail; why throw good money after bad? And what incentives do asymptomatic carriers have to possibly risk their livelihoods by getting involved? I, for one, would not readily wish to incriminate myself over a sniffle or a cough.

I am genuinely unafraid of being infected by the coronavirus – I fully expect my body to deal with it as it has dealt with everything else over the last sixty-odd years – but I have watched a lot of formerly sane and rational people thoroughly lose their minds over it. My natural phlegmatic approach to much in life finds the hysterical over-reaction almost amusing and more than a little curious. It’s certainly not a British way to go about things.

I have steadfastly refused to adopt a position on lockdowns, travel restrictions, vaccinations and the like because I freely confess to being largely disinterested and materially unaffected. I have had my first jab because, why not? And I will happily offer up my arm for the second. But testing twice a week? Not if it might affect by ability to make a living, no. No, thank you.

We have it! The cure!

And back to the conspiracies. I fully expect somebody to arrive at the conclusion that the offer of a testing regime is there as an alternative to carrying a vaccine passport, given that they are convinced this is all about making you jump through hoops. (Again, to what possible end?) But isn’t it probably closer to the truth to conclude that in the government’s urgency to return society to safe normality this is more likely simple desperation?

What remains?

In time will come the post-mortem; some are already conducting it while the patient is still alive and a few are forecasting it; the Daily mirror is stating that as many people could have died in the UK by Easter Sunday as have already died, to date, worldwide. At a time when people are abandoning print news in their hundreds of thousands, this is irresponsible and foolhardy. Sooner or later, even the most prurient grow tired of being fed bullshit, garnished with horse shit... and sprinkled with batshit.

But after the Covid-19 affair is over, counting the real cost will occupy the time, the lives, even, of many of us. We will hardly be slapping our backs in congratulations; in effect, all forms of physical contact may become verboten for some time. And I can see that, for some, hearing a simple cough or sneeze will summon up PTSD levels of fear and revulsion. Everybody is now a potential killer, or victim. And it’s not only the virus itself which will be responsible.

People will lose their lives to suicide over despair, to starvation and cold, due to loss of income and inability to pay. Many will become homeless and prey to the many illnesses which befall those who live precarious lives on the street. Those with delayed treatments may suffer a loss of life quality which could easily be deemed unnecessarily harsh punishment for something over which they had no control. And some will succumb to the perils of lockdown; domestic violence, indolence, drink… sheer stupidity. Not to mention the mental toll on those insufficiently robust to endure a few weeks of isolation and introspection.

But there will be wider and lasting casualties. Distrust in the mainstream media has possibly never been higher. Print media, already in decline, may not survive. The police, while performing an essential role, are coming in for unprecedented levels of distrust and certain ‘communities’, whatever the truth, will be held forever to have broken the lockdown rules, furthering the antipathy towards islam in the west. In short, trust will be hard to win back.

But perhaps the most despicable of all has been the behaviour of many Labour MPs, stoking up tensions and invoking fear, in the name of ‘holding the government to account’. Constant naysaying is not a valid form of opposition. Refusal to join with the government and support the measures being taken, however grudgingly, are not the actions of a responsible alternative party of government. And a refusal to slap down their misguided useful idiots, like Kevin Maguire, does little to demonstrate responsibility. We are no longer a two-party state.

The next ten years...

International relations, at a time when cooperation ought to be paramount, is at a low ebb. Never mind that nobody will trust China for a generation, the countries of Europe are aghast at the partisan behaviours of their neighbours. But maybe some good will come of this. What remains when nobody trusts anybody else is self-reliance. At an individual level this is something people have neglected, to their detriment. At a national level this is something that has been derided, to our shame. Post lockdown we have much work to do.

Honestly, calm down.

You find out who your friends are in a crisis, an aphorism which has been tested and found true over this last week. Yes, it’s just a week in lockdown and already the usual malcontents are making a nuisance of themselves. If it was only themselves they were harming by their refusal to listen to the news rather than our partisan media’s interpretation of the news then it wouldn’t be so bad. But many people rather sweetly lap up every morsel of fear they are fed.

It is noticeable that it is the same old gang of malcontents who are determined to wreck everything. The people religiously opposed to Brexit, fervently in support of open borders, actively duped by climate propaganda and imagining themselves to be ‘the good guys’ are up to their old tricks. No government policy goes unchallenged – a sage stance, you might imagine – but this is nothing to do with wisdom. These people openly spread lies, aided and abetted by certain news outlets who believe it is their place to make the news, rather than just report it.

My social medium of choice is Twitter, mostly because I can’t really work all the others and really can’t be arsed trying to be relevant in more than one place. And my blog is more by way of escape from all the screeching; for screeching there is. The usual suspects: Carole Cadwalladr, Piers Morgan, Zoe Williams, Marina Hyde, Owen Jones, Ash Sarkar [the list goes on and on] are busily wreaking social havoc out there. And they have a ready-made audience. Some are gleefully predicting the downfall of capitalism; others are just making hay in the somewhat ironic sunshine we are experiencing right now.

But reality is more prosaic. For every self-referential poll they put up to demonstrate how people who think as they do want more of what they want, the public-at-large have a dozen ‘fuck-offs’ ready in reply. For every urban anarchist call to arms, several thousand ordinary people cock a deaf ear. For every absurd insistence that the government is taking us toward a police state, a million citizens see only sensible precautions and condemn those who flout them.

Playing politics with sensitive issues has long been seen by the general public as sordid at best and at worst downright despicable, sinister, even. More and more people must surely be coming round to this view as every utterance by the forces of opposition – official and self-appointed – is seen as the partisan propagandising it really is. But I have optimism that there is opposition to this opposition and it is seated in the British spirit so hated by the Leftwaffe.

None of the numerical ‘facts’ that are broadcast by either side are untainted by bias and all of them are projections based on imperfect data. Even after all the dead are counted there will be uncertainty. But one thing is certain and that is that, so far, the numbers of dead pale into insignificance compared to the regular seasonal numbers, even if you ascribe every ‘excess’ death directly to coronavirus Covid-19. It might be different had the government not acted as it did, but we will never know. So put aside unverifiable facts and ask yourself a few simple questions:

Can you – seriously – imagine that a British government would deliberately pursue the worst possible policy to control the virus? Do you – seriously – think the Tories are intent on decimating the population; and if so, why, to what possible end? Do you imagine for one second that a nexus of Jeremy Corbyn, Diane Abbott and John McDonnell would not be using this temporary crisis as a device to usher in Marxist socialism, the transition to full communism? Your response to these questions may well indicate whether you are part of the solution or part of the problem. 

So just… calm down. Do as you’re told, take all the help available and ask for more if you need it, and trust in the British national character to see us through. Take a few calming breaths and accept what you cannot change. Use this lockdown time to give your psyche a thorough audit, paying particular attention to your ability to sift out the truth from the conspiracy theories. And when it is all over – a few weeks, probably – ask yourself what you, personally, can do to prepare for the next lockdown when it comes. Because, as sure as eggs is eggs, this won’t be the last time.

Most of all, you've let yourselves down

I don’t know what the latest death toll is; it is certainly far fewer than deaths from other, better know, viral illnesses and certainly far fewer than Piers Morgan is determined it must be. But one thing I am certain about is that I couldn’t be less concerned about it. You can’t see it, you can’t detect it in others unless they are symptomatic, but they are infectious before that and no amount of handwashing is going to save you once it gets into your workplace, home, school, etc. You’re likely to get it; accept that.

But not all winds blow ill and if nothing else comes of it, I hope – beyond any realistic expectation of realisation – that people learn a little something about this species about which we are so precious. It turns out, for all the glorious history of endeavour, all the science, art and great thought, we are just base animals at heart, acting on instinct and motivated by fear. The great manipulators have always known this; the new pretenders think they are learning it from scratch, but all of us can see it in the end.

If you needed any concrete evidence, it must surely be the toilet roll debacle. Not water, not food, not even medicines, but the humble bog roll has become totemic of both our preparation for a siege and our inability to think beyond tomorrow. At first it was just funny, watching the idiots on the rampage, but this weekend it became sinister with scenes of people waiting outside large supermarkets with empty trolleys; standing in line just to see the empty shelves at first hand. (Incidentally, such gatherings would be, one would think, ideal situations for the virus to spread.)

Literally nobody knows what the eventual number of affected will be, nor the mortality rate, but suddenly everybody is an expert. The BBC led with a story that 229 ‘scientists’ had signed a letter demanding the government do more. It later transpired that not one of these experts had any knowledge or understanding of the disease, nor any grasp of the strategy being followed. In short they brought nothing to the debate except opposition. When we then learned that a large number of signatories were from an institution which describes itself as being situated in ‘vibrant’ East London, the penny dropped.

It is morbid, obscene, the way some wish to hype up the danger in a form of macabre thrill-seeking. It is ugly and venal and unbecoming. Instead of listening to the actual government advice and taking heed, many (and you know they are remainers, climate nuts and social justice warriors, who have a demonstrable dearth of critical thinking skills) are accepting at face value the crap spouted by Corbyn, Morgan and others who are deliberately misrepresenting the events and measures being taken.

At times of national crisis – climate isn’t one, Covid-19 looks like it will be – the reasonable person acts in his own self-interest, takes steps to defend his family and looks out for others who may not be able to do so. Communities should be sensibly coming together, not waging wars of words and putting in place their own support networks, not expecting the government to anticipate their every need. As much as you might wish it, there will not be millions dead in the UK; I doubt we’ll hit millions worldwide. But, just in case, I have plenty of bog rolls…

Bring Out Your Dead!

In the overall scale of things the corona virus is relatively small beer. Yes, it is. I know it is highly infectious and yes it has killed older people but even on the scale of China and Italy the mortalities don’t measure up to the regular winter seasonal toll from other, more well known diseases. And while it may be nastier, at least until the population begins to develop a resistance, is it really a good idea to slow economic activity to a pace at which entire countries begin to go bankrupt, with consequences for years ahead?

There are pitfalls whichever way we turn. Ignore it and let infection run rife with the possibility of direct terminal outcomes for a minority, or run away and hide with longer term, equally fatal consequences for possibly many more because of a lack of resources for health and social care? Do you push one off the train to save hundreds, or do you sacrifice the lot? Economics, in the wider sense, really couldn’t care less; it will take you if you are in the line of fire, regardless.

For what it’s worth, the so far pragmatic approach of the UK government, advised by the best that are available, is reassuringly British. Carry on, but brace for the worst and rely a little on common sense and providence to lighten the burden. We don’t much like contact with strangers anyway, so this is a perfect opportunity to utilise our characteristic coolness under the guise of self-isolation. Sorry boss, I can’t come into work today; I hate you all. A tad boring, perhaps, but we’ve always looked down on the frantic, over-the-top, ‘forrin’ ways of coping with crises.

So, for the near future at least, it is mostly business as usual and one activity which has shown no sign of slowing down is political opportunism. The usual subjects, in the usual way, have seized the chance to condemn Brexit, racism, The Tories, toxic masculinity; you name it, it’s to blame. The Labour Party, possibly due a lack of a solid, traditional education, seem to mistake the role of opposition, believing it to mean simply opposing every single thing the government does. Oh, and every one of them – caring, as they are - seems to be gleefully hoping that only Conservatives contract the virus.

But all they are doing, these sneering, jostling look-at-me commentators; the David Lammies the Femis, the Toynbees et al is exposing to ridicule their pointless crusades. When the country is challenged it needs to do what it has always done and come together to make common cause. Those who continue to carp from the sidelines will be exposed as the useless pouting, pontificating meatheads they really are. And the true worth of every diversity champion in every organisation will be exposed as approximating to zero.

So, the real casualties of the Winter of Corona, I hope, will be all those who make a living from invented victimhood, from confected notions of privilege, from fomenting dissent against this most welcoming nation. I hope the metaphorical funeral pyres are piled high with the figurative corpses of customer experience managers, human resources twonks and people who conduct surveys to produce pre-conceived outcomes. Rid of the sheer expense of all the professional naval gazers we might actually be able to begin to heal the country after all.

The Numbers Game

Much hysteria over the weekend where my insouciance over the Yellow Peril brought condemnation and accusations of, well, of all the usual stuff. (You know, racist, Nazi, Tory, etc...) The fact is, I’m not that bothered, if truth be told. Yes, I know that the latest ‘worst case’ scenario has 350,000 dead, but claims from one interlocutor that ‘cases are doubling every day’ is simply untrue. If that were the case, we would already have Italian levels of infection. But we haven’t, not yet. And until we do I refuse to get all that bothered.

It’s this worst case business that bothers me. Like rcp8.5, the worst case supposition for CO₂ emissions as proxy for climate change, the worst case coronavirus predictions are what they state they are. That is, if it all goes horribly wrong and everybody does exactly the wrong thing and then more bad stuff happens and everybody continues to do exactly the wrong thing, then here comes the apocalypse. Again. (Does this sound familiar?)

Except it won’t because, with each each event, we will react, and even given the enormous propensity of the human race for fucking up, we can’t always get it wrong; not every time. At the moment we’re washing our hands more regularly (what were we doing before, you ask). If it gets palpably more proximate we may be more careful regarding contact with others. And if we catch it we will, mostly, do the right thing and self-quarantine.

Much as with Brexit we will learn as we go along and nothing even close to the cataclysmic predictions will occur because, as stupid as we are, we are not actually that stupid. Worst case predictions are just that and to use them as concrete forecasts is morally dodgy at best and verging on criminally irresponsible when wielded by the wrong hands. By wrong hands I mean those who seek to control and command for reasons which have little to do with public safety. I’m talking about politicians here.

Fortunately, due to recent events both at home and abroad, the stock of politicians’ verisimilitude couldn’t be lower and I think we all recognise how these people weaponise every ‘opportunity’. Keep calm and carry on couldn’t be better advice right now and once the empty toilet roll shelves have been re-stocked and people figure out how this works, maybe the population will get bored with all the sensationalism and get back to near normal. It wouldn’t surprise me if, after this mass hysteria, winter 2019/20 turns out to have one of the lowest mortality rates of recent years.

End of Days

And it shall come to pass that Lamb of God, the Lion of Judah, shall open the first four of the seven seals and summon forth four beings that ride out on white, red, black, and pale horses. That’s it, folks, the end is nigh, and pestilence stalks the land in the form of the dreaded yellow peril, Kung Flu, Covid 19 or whatever else you want to call it. Harsher than influenza but nowhere near the numerical killer that both flu and tuberculosis are, governments everywhere are losing their biblical shit over it.

It now looks likely that other countries will follow Italy and progressively shut down their entire economy to deal with a bit of a cough. Because when you shut down the schools you lose workers who will stay at home to guard their kids. When you cause panic buying supply chains are distorted, and when some of the stay-at-homes are healthcare workers you lose the ability to deal with it. Damned if they do, damned if they don’t, western governments are committed to self-harm in the name of votes. (Meanwhile, certain islamic countries are enacting miracle cures by having imams dribble holy spit in drinking water. Talk about blind faith.)

Then there is the great plague of Thunberg disciples stalking the land as harbingers of doom, relentless gobbling up every last morsel of terrifying propaganda, bowing before the text of rcp8.5 and genuflecting at the feet of the tainted sainthood herself. A martyr for the cause of mass disruption and mental pain, the idiot savant lectures grown adults on science she does not understand yet accepts without question. Religious fervour has much to answer for because the cure for climate cancer seems to be the same as for corona virus – shut down the engine of the world.

Here in the UK spare a thought for the villagers of Fairbourne. The flood defences for this Welsh coastal hamlet are to be discontinued in the 2050s and the village decommissioned and left to drown. Inhabitants now occupy worthless property with no rescue plan in place, no commitment to compensation, no funding to continue defending their homes and no potential buyers to help them out. Some are resigned to hoping they die before their village does. No doubt the Extinction Rebellion lot will be cheering the slow death of an entire community.

Old people, they say, it’s the old people. Old people caused these crises, old people deserve to die and look, the righteous virus is claiming the elderly before the young, so there’s your retribution for wrecking the planet, greyhair! But have you seen how very parsimoniously many older people live? After a lifetime of contributing they eke out their last days in frugal fear of running out of money before running out of breath. How callous the young and the comfortable are, condemning their forebears while gobbling up of the fruits of their labour.

And all the while, war is coming. The flood of migrants who will take no heed of precautions against the spread of disease and will voraciously consume whatever the west has left after it has driven down its own immunity against decay. While the World Health Organisation is counselling quarantine, western administrations are still flying the flag for open borders. In the Greek islands, vigilante groups are taking action where their governments will not in order to defend themselves from yet another apocalyptic infestation.

In every case – corona, immigration, Greta8.5 – fear of losing voters is diverting resources from the front line, avoiding real debate and effective action, and instead pandering to the hysterias which appear to afflict a minority, rather than the masses. The tyranny of vocal special interests is taking away the sanity of the world and replacing it with gibbering impotence. When the schools and factories have closed, when the social services have been overwhelmed and collapsed, when the developed world ceases to be able to pay its way, who will be left to clean up the wreckage of this mountain of folly?