Losing marbles...

The Higgs Boson, the so-called God particle. For the hard of thinking this is not a small spherical object whose discovery proves the existence of god; it’s not some supernatural, cosmic marble that somehow makes religion real. There is no god. Why am I so sure? Because despite the canonical fabrications of the Catholic church and the insistence by babbling maniacs who have spent solitary time tramping inhospitable deserts that they and they alone have been privy to the mind of the almighty, the total evidence for the omnipotent creator is a big fat zero. Nothing, zilch, nada… sweet fuck-all.

God is created in the minds of men, but all their fevered yearning for the heavenly father to be real has signally failed to cause him to materialise in any tangible form. He/she/it is a figment. Either fantastic or mundane neither the randomly interchangeable heads - crocodile, bird, elephant, serpent – nor the ‘image of man’ visualisations hold any water; he just ain’t there. But, as Voltaire said, if God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him, because humans are very, very stupid and can’t handle the notion of a life with, quite literally, no meaning.

Odd though that those same human animals can quite easily dismiss the life of other animals as eminently disposable; pests, vermin, competitors for living space or food. Life is sacrosanct… but oh so tasty; hypocrisy much? But the craving for reason also ushers in an inevitable gold rush; feeding on the gullibility that accompanies the need is a millennia-long history of shamans and charlatans, inventing doctrine on the hoof, much as a politician creates policy to order in pursuit of a living. And what a living!

Making sense of the incoherent is work that can only be carried out by people with no other talent but one for invention. So-called ‘scholars’ of religions are nothing more than story-tellers unable to resolve the plot; weavers of the divine soap opera where every new episode brings drama but nobody ever learns a thing and nobody ever grows out of their two-dimensional character. How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? How many virgins await the martyr? How much more fantastic do the story lines have to get before we all reach Nirvana, by which I mean enlightenment?

And by enlightenment I mean apostasy; total rejection of the idiot doctrines of the voodoo, the mumbo-jumbo and all the claptrap spouted by all the religions throughout the written ages and beyond. Yesterday David Cameron gave his much-hyped ‘get tough’ speech about ‘islamist radicalisation’ but he couldn’t bring himself to say what needed to be said. The root cause of all religious radicalisation is religion itself; a primitive urge among the less advanced of our number who are incapable of seeing simple reality. I have no need to demonstrate that your god does not exist; every day on planet earth produces yet another several-billion pieces of evidence that he doesn’t and not a single one that he does; in scientific terms that’s close to conclusive; it's mankind's longest experiment.

Buddy Bin Laden: "We keel you!"

Oh but, Shiny Dave doesn’t want to ‘alienate the muslim community’? (That’s code for 'scare away potential voters’ by the way.) In that case why single out one religion for approbation? Why not outlaw the lot of them then? Oh, of course Dave, you have to pretend that you believe in ‘our’ god, don’t you. It’s okay though, as far as I can discern it is still only a few million adherents of one particular faith who are regularly murdering people and declaring painful death to the west and last time I checked it wasn't the Anglicans.

NHS Saving

Dateline 08^th May 2016

Well, one year on from David Cameron’s close victory over Labour, the SNP and the Greens who together tried to deny the will of the people and block the Queen’s speech and it looks as if Cameron’s ‘alleged’ decision to intervene and remove Alex Salmond’s political teeth has paid dividends. UK Plc is firmly back in business, the deficit is going down pretty much as planned and investment is pouring into the country as, one after one, the southern European countries follow Greece and leave the doomed Euro to the Germans and the French. Alex Salmond is still eating through a straw, but few now remain to object… or care.

One of the great triumphs of the Conservative minority government – with the backing of the remaining LibDem MPs (on whom sufficient blackmail material was gathered to ensure their cooperation) – has been the resurgence of the National Health Service. Despite all of the opposition’s best efforts to sabotage recovery and rabble-rouse the health workers’ unions into punitive action, the NHS has not only endured but triumphed under new management. Strikers have been summarily dismissed with the authority of new emergency powers granted to hospital administrators promoted entirely from the ranks.

The top-line managers who were displaced and objected about it have been taken out and shot and all nursing degrees have been annulled, returning nurses to front line service under recalled matrons. So far few complaints have been received and given that a punch in the mouth from a ward sister is a likely outcome for time wasters, the throughput on those wards has increased two-fold. There is a belief that people are too scared to be ill for very long and as a result, even though the economy is booming, the NHS is now treating more people, more effectively, for less money while still affording handsome pay rises to nursing staff, paramedics and the blokes that service the machines which go ‘beeeep’.

Who would have thought that a tired old format could be resurrected with such success? But resurrected it has been and with ex-Army Medical Corps staff training up the triage nurses the number of malingerers, hypochondriacs, violent drunks and psychotic drug abusers clogging up A&E departments has dwindled so far that security staff have been let go and police officers released to go back to catching criminals. Despite the charge of cronyism, David Cameron’s appointment of a personal friend to lead the new NHS has come in for little in the way of serious criticism, the results speaking for themselves.

This need not hurt a bit

Due to the no-nonsense approach and a ruthless cutting out of unnecessary services, treatment for imaginary ailments, alternative therapies and touchy-feely pastoral care, the NHS is playing a major part in getting people off the disability registers and back to work. They say it is an ill wind that blows nobody any good and the new boss has form with tired old formats. Under the stewardship of Jeremy Clarkson Britain once again has the finest health service… in the world. And on that bombshell…

Feeling Lucky?

According to our supposedly Christian creed it is more blessed to give than to receive, at least that’s what we were always told in the run-up to every Christmas ‘when I were a lad’. So, it’s not very Christian for all the various whingers out there to complain about giving back things which they should never have had in the first place.

It’s back to work this week for the government. With the traditional cabinet reshuffle under way and a horde of malcontents beating down the door to parliament, MPs will return to a barrage of feeble moaning from benefit recipients adjudged to not be in need, kids and teachers bemoaning their more representative exam results and minorities – why do we have so many bloody minorities? - demanding back their unequal rights in the name of equality.

In a telling sound bite from last week, following Atos’s “fit for work” assessments, I heard the demand, “Are we to believe there are deserving disabled and undeserving disabled?” Well frankly, yes. Just as there have always been deserving welfare recipients and undeserving, wilfully idle, it is well established that there are many thousands ‘on the sick’ who are perfectly capable of working for a living; the painful weeding out process is a necessary medicine.

Britain’s forty-year dalliance with Socialism – apart from an all-too-brief optimistic interlude in the eighties - has been marked by an erosion of our national character to be shored up with an absurd sense of individual self-worth, self-awareness and an X-Factor-infantilised population who believe they can all be stars. The cold reality is and always will be that people are what they make of themselves. Sometimes that’s easy, usually it’s hard, but it’s slightly absurd of the disability rights campaigners (with whom we all, no doubt have some sympathies) to use those who have done just that – the paralympians – to lobby for many who won’t.

Governance isn’t about fairy tale endings for all, it’s about doing what we can with what we’ve got and we just can’t afford to deal equally with every marginal ‘social’ issue when we are drowning in debt. Of course that means that all the special needs lobbies will clamour all the more for the scarce resources left, but as that bites harder on those who provide, is it any wonder that support is waning?

Ask yourself, would you really rather we were nice than alive? If Cameron is going to rescue his beleaguered administration, now is the time to tighten the screws all the more. Strong leadership and sod the consequences - bugger the inconsequential and get on with the job while you still have a chance Mr C. Oh and George Osborne? Don’t worry about being booed last night – that’s just the sound of commie-pinko weakness being squeezed from the British body corporate. You keep cutting old son – cut until they have no option but to get back to work.

But a ray of light in all the darkness. Government Minister Alan Duncan, said his constituents Andy and Tracey Ferrie should not be prosecuted for allegedly shooting burglars who targeted their property in Melton Mowbray. Hooray for common sense. In fact this could go further.

Feel lucky, punk?

In the United Dingdom it will be the duty of the police not only to catch burglars but to restrain them while the property owners take pot-shots at them with a twelve-bore.

Carrm Down

I've been out of town and out of touch, but even I know that David Cameron has considered himself hard enough to come and have a go at Jimmy Carr's tax arrangements. Is this a wise move, I ask myself considering the long history of successful entertainers and tax avoidance? Surely everybody remembers the case of Ken Dodd and his famous Diddy Men - Diddy Pay and Diddy Fuck.

But maybe it is a good tactical  move after all, because it poses something of a problem for the left. It shines a feeble sort of light on the hypocrisy of show business, which is almost entirely populated by folk who declare themselves the epitome of caring socialism and the enemy of what they think of as conservatism. Show business attracts the young and hopeful, who often earn little throughout their lives and live in an extended, often ill-educated, mutually supportive peer group as they struggle to make ends meet by dressing up to make the grown-ups laugh and clap.

The grown-ups, of course, are happy to pay to keep performers in their juvenile and starry-eyed state, in the hope that they'll continue to entertain them for next to nothing. Sounds a lot like Socialism to me, where a ruling elite keeps the poor barefoot and helpless, while pulling their strings and offering crumbs of encouragement in place of real wages.

But all the sweet bonhomie does little to disguise the fact that in the fiercely competitive world of entertainment the big breaks are few, far between, fought-over and favour the hardest-working and most persistent. (What's that? A capitalist work ethic?) Your time in the spotlight - if it ever comes - may be short-lived and could be the only chance you get to build a nest egg. The question shouldn't be, "How dare you?" but more why wouldn't you avoid paying tax?

Many years of "progressive" politics have led us to be forced to hand over ever more of our earnings to support experimental policies of social engineering, touchy-feely (failed) multiculturalism and an infantilisation of the entire population - we're all in show business now. Which of us wouldn't - given the opportunity - pay an expert to allow us to legally avoid that high price and put something aside for those rainy days ahead?

Breaking free of the bounds of mediocrity, it is rarely long before achievers in all walks of life seek to separate themselves from the masses. Give a lefty a bit of money and pretty soon he or she buys a secluded house with security to keep the little people outside. Let people improve themselves and see how long they continue to espouse their former quaint notions of equality.

Jimmy Carr is only doing what most of us would do if we could. If there is fault here it is that the tax burden is too high, to pay for things that we don't need and ultimately don't really believe in. The irony is that the showbiz masses are natural Labour supporters - somebody has to pay the welfare bill for when they're 'resting' - but quickly reassess their priorities once they've made it. It's called human nature.

Who's laughing now?