Showing posts with label Len McCluskey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Len McCluskey. Show all posts

Saturday, 22 April 2017

Have you seen the little piggies?

“Now, class, remember...” The learning facilitator turns to indicate two display boards at the nominal front of the young people’s learning collective. The various sub-committees of pupils, of mixed age, ability and gender identity, disengaged from their collaborations to gaze at the images. Bordered by a brave, caring, red glow, the party display showed moving images of happy, diverse communities engaged in thrilling cooperative ventures, assisting the halt and lame, collecting for charity and building a better world to the stirring music approved by the school board. They all bore the same fixed smiles that now played on the shining faces of the Junior Learners as they watched, wide-eyed and alert.

“And now...” The warm glow faded as the facilitator switched on the second display. A harsh, cold, deathly light illuminated static, monochrome scenes of an ancient and unlovely world. A world where miserable, old white people trudged through mud, pushing carts laden with broken human bodies. A world of torture and pain, of poverty and cruel injustice. A world of child labour, lives of drudge and early demise from back-breaking work and lack of medicines. The watching learners began to sob and hug each other, feeling the pain of their forebears in that lost world, filling with overwhelming empathy for the wronged and the dead.

St Ignatius Loyola, the founder of the Jesuits, supposedly said “Give me a child until he is seven and I will show you the man.” Whether he did or not, the principle is sound enough. What children experience in their early years can become a cross they bear forever. Catholic guilt, islamic submission... white self-loathing. A more enlightened view is that children should not be exposed to simplistic indoctrination and especially not by those charged with their education. Which brings us to that Labour party political broadcast.

Nobody is suggesting that primary school teachers bring their red, red politics into the classroom but then, how could they not? Few of us are capable of completely concealing our political allegiances – only career politicians can manage to do that – but teachers are in a unique position to influence future generations. This ridiculous broadcast suggests that Labour sees nothing wrong in doing exactly that. They also want the voting age to be lowered to sixteen or seventeen; can you see the connection, children?


Meanwhile, the real leader of the Labour Party, Len McCluskey, has been celebrating his re-election to master of the party purse strings by partying at a popular venue where champagne at £50 a bottle flowed pretty freely. George Orwell believed in democratic socialism and was profoundly concerned about social justice, but he was not uncritical of left-wing movements and his two best-known works challenged the very direction of travel of the current-day Labour Party. Animal Farm concludes: “The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.” Some things never change.

Thursday, 22 August 2013

The Fabian Formula

Settle down children. Now, today we are going to start with sums. There’s no need to boo, my dears, because Uncle Len says that sums are simple; sums are fun. Now, repeat after me, “One, two, three, Clause Four…” What is a clause, I hear you ask? There’s no need for you to know that right now, but as long as it is followed by a four it is a very good thing. One day you will need to remember that, but for now it will be our little secret.

We used to say that school days were the happiest days of your life; now it’s likely they may become the most politically active too as ‘Red Len’ McCluskey’s union, Unite, wants to enlist malleable young brains in the cause of Communism. Len knows what he’s talking about – he worked out which side his bread was buttered early on, becoming a shop steward at the tender age of nineteen, back in the days when the unions really did tell the government how to run the country.

If the thought of your kids being gently indoctrinated into the ‘four legs good; some are more equal than others’ machine fills you with no fear, then it’s probably because you don’t realise it is part of the Fabian Society’s long game. To realise how long you only have to reflect that yesterday was the 100th birthday of its propaganda sheet, The New Statesman. Current regular contributors to “The Staggers” include such exemplars of unbiased opinion as Mehdi Hasan, Will Self, David Blanchflower and  Laurie Penny, peddling neo-Marxism as intellectual and ‘progressive’.

Persuasion is normal, we all do it all the time; letting those around us know what is acceptable and what is not by gentle repetition of preferred themes. In this way we both mould and are moulded to fit into our little life niches. If we’re not comfortable we can move on, but it’s rare not to accept some compromises in order to fit in, because straightening up and flying right is ultimately easier than fighting all the time. But who is doing the straightening and what course are they setting?

The EU has been gently steering your kids into an uncritically Europhile mindset for years and now Unite wants to lead those same ductile ducklings to the picket lines by funding video lessons in the art of protest. Were it a balanced view of the democratic process and how to take part that would be fine, but the material appears to focus on how to oppose local businesses and fight plans for privatisation. In other words there is a deliberate bias towards the Fabians’ ideals, dressed up in the harmless ‘fun’ of dreaming up slogans and making placards.

Two legs bad!

You can tell Len McCluskey what you think of this idea by following @Untie4Len on Twitter and putting forward your point of view. But for now, children, it’s back to the lesson. Repeat after me, “Two plus two equals five.”


Tuesday, 2 October 2012

The Ex Factor

Day Two of the Has-Beens Ball from the Locarno, Manchester and predictably it's been a long, fruitless slog as we enter day two of the audition rounds. The prize is to present a credible alternative to an electorate wise to the manipulations of the talent show format.

Hello love, what's your name and where are you from?

Me name's Maria Eagle and I've come over from Liverpool an' Ah really really want this Cilla, it's my dream, it's my life and Ah'm gunna give yers an 'undred-an'-ten-percent and a lorra lorra...

*klaxon* Surprise surprise, my name's not Cilla! Now, what are you going to do for us today?

Well, Cilla, I'm going to explain how we can predistribute bus fares and...

*klaxon* Heard it. Next!

My name's Eddie Izzard... or is it? No.... or isn't it? Hmm, yes... or do I mean no? Spider gravy... True story...

*klaxon* Next!

What's your na...?

My name's Ed and I'm here for a punch up! I've got four billion quid and I'm going to make houses and anybody saying my figures don't add up is gonna get it, right? I know some Nazis, see... and if you want a copy of my speech, that'll be two quid, right? Yeah? That's cheap you know. In fact they're selling too cheaply, too quickly and it's time for Plan B,. Did I say I know some Nazis? I've got a uniform and everything - it's a laugh! Shoot my fox! Wanna hear me play the piano?

*scuffle backstage*

Fight, you say? You want a fight?

What's your name, darling?

Don't you darling me you lily-livered, class traitor, your arse-licking... arse-licking... licking... lickspittle! I'm Red Len and me and Mark'll take on the lot of youse!

(Len is bundled away, still ranting, by security)

Who's up next then?

*a strangled, adenoidal warble heralds a cartoon-like character*

Goodness, gracious, guys and gals! My name's Ed Miliband. Now then, now then, jingle-jangle jewellery, jewellery  jewellery... I want to fix it for all the young people, as it 'appens.

*stunned silence*



'Ow's about that,then!

I can't wait for the next show.