Look before you leap... but leap if you want.

On the drive in this morning I heard Scottish author Denise Mina, reading her essay on why she supports the NO vote in the imminent Scottish referendum – or as it will come to be known in history as  ‘The day Scotland got independence whichever way it voted’. There is  long and established precedence of asking those who will not be materially affected by an outcome to judge on its sagacity and at least the Today programme was asking people who can string a sentence together, rather than, say, David Beckham.

The United Kingdom has for 300 years had a national identity known as Britishness in which we have had an abundance of that most treasured of New Socialist goals, diversity. It’s possible there is no other unified nation on earth with the breadth of differentness exhibited here, with separate histories, customs, gripes, grievances and petty feuds, yet living together without strife for three centuries. And why? Because above all else we had nationhood, a shared island coastline… one nation under a groovy flag.

So here’s the odd thing about Denise Mina’s plea for unity; she contended that the nation state is a failed paradigm, an inward-looking, insular and excluded method of interacting (or rather not interacting) with the world; that ‘better together’ is an example of how opening borders and down-playing national identity is the key to prosperity in the modern global economy… and therefore Scotland should remain a part of the world-renowned, globe-conquering, yet spectacularly distinct nation called the United Kingdom.

Our own nationhood is the product of centuries of shared endeavour and as much as the federalists would plead otherwise it works – or has worked - because we do have that shared idea of Britishness. In fact the utter failure of and the misery brought about by enforced multiculturalism is at the root of much of what ails us. The breakdown of national boundaries is not, whatever anybody tells you, an unremittingly good thing. In fact, all over Europe, much of the unrest is as a direct result of the inability of countries to maintain their own borders; geographically, economically and most of all, culturally.

Nationhood works; it just does. Whether that entity is a small island or a huge continent it is a very human instinct to cleave to one’s own and borders will be erected one way or another. If you don’t believe in nationhood, how long before you start to believe you should also break up the family unit, as the communists have advocated for a century and a half and as socialists have tried to pretend they haven’t? They are not your children they are the state’s children; is that where we end up?

Either way, you'll still be a country.

I don’t know which way is the best way for you, Scotland; you’re obviously unhappy in this increasingly loveless marriage. But if it is self-determination and the ability to manage your own aspirations without interference from those who don’t have your interests at heart you still have two choices. You are already a country in your own right, so you can opt to become a smaller nation better able to exercise democracy, or you can remain a part of a larger nation which has its own question to answer about independence. Either way, yes or no, the nation state is still the only valid option for a free people.

Missing all the points…

When you dance on swords it’s important you don’t step on the sharp bits. Fortunately for Ed Muddleband, David Cam-on-down and Nick Clogg, their chances of being on the receiving ends of any actual points are vanishingly small as they head up to Jockland to put their shoulders to the Scottish Independence wheel of misfortune.

What they hope to achieve, they say – while resolutely refusing to say it in unison – is that the auld place just wouldnae be the same without ‘oor’ canny wee neighbour in the north; for mark my words, at least one of them will be taken up with their own rhetoric and  come over all Caledonian in the telling. Quite what Scotland will make of the miserable episode is anybody’s guess...

Actually it’s not. Despite what the polls say, most have their minds made up and those who are agin the union will only harden their resolve on seeing the pathetic, belated attempt by hated ENGLISH(ish) politicians to woo their vote. Those who are minded to opt for retaining the status quo will suck their teeth but maintain their preference while cursing under their breath that these idiot interlopers have revealed their desperation with over a week to go.

What was it we used to say about waiting till we could see the whites of their eyes? In the case of Glasgow that would, of course, be ‘the reds’ (in more ways than one) but the party leaders could at least have limited their damage by leaving it until the eleventh hour. This way it’s like poking a hornet’s nest with a stick. What’s that angry whining noise? It’s the sound of half a million Buckfast-fuelled Weegies sensing Sassenachs on their turf with time to mobilise against them.

I secretly hope that Scotland will go it alone; we need a precedent for the big push to get out of the EU, but it’s not going to happen, is it? Even if a Yes vote was returned I reckon the now traditional EU ruling would apply and they’d have to re-run the ballot until the politically acceptable 'correct' result was obtained. But none of that will be necessary, will it? Despite what some polls suggest, I’ve already called it at around 60/40 for the NO vote – just you watch.

But isn’t it the point – one of many that the gleesome threesome will never understand - that it’s for the Scottish to decide? How can we gad about the world demanding the rights of people to determine their own futures when we deny it to our oldest partners right here on our doorstep?

Ed McMiliband... 

a disaster coming to a country near you.

Anyway, all that’s left is to settle back and watch the Westminster Wankers, the Wizards of Odd, make twats of themselves for a day or so. Ye ken, pal? A bacon buttie is child’s play in the face of the photo-opportunity potential of a deep-fried haggis and Mars Bar pizza. And while Cameron might just about be able to pull it off, there being a clan tartan after all, Gawd 'elp us all if Ed Miliband attempts to wear a kilt…