Phwoar, look at the baps on that! Marks out of ten? I’d
give her one! Terrible arthritis, she has... hands like that! *mimes holding
melons* Skirt, gash, fanny, split, Wendy, Judy, Sheila, bird, slag, bitch,
tart. Ah, woman, how do we know thee, let me count the ways... So, Donald Trump
is guilty of bloke talk in an unguarded moment a decade ago. So what? The
reactions have been as predictable as the existence of this tape. Of course
he’s a letch, of course there’ll be others, have you not been paying attention?
As newly castrated male politicians line up to denounce
him, casting stones to which they have no entitlement, they use words like
offended, sickened and disgusted. Really? Or are they mostly just relieved it
wasn’t them? Relieved they weren’t famous enough to be wired for sound when they
were bragging to their buddies.
Do I think Trump’s an egotistical wanker? Yes, of course.
Do I think this debars him from office? Of course not – that is almost a necessary
prerequisite for this job and few of his predecessors in the history of the
presidential race can claim they’ve never boasted of their sexual skirmishes. Hypocrisy
is more than a word to the illiberal left; it’s practically an entry
requirement. Who among us doesn’t have some moments for which we would turn the
clock back if we could?
In some parallel Earth the nice guy would get the girl
and success would accrue to whoever ran the most ethical business. Bribery,
corruption, lewd behaviour and the misuse of office would be the fictions of
perverse minds and a minority taste at that. But look at what sells in this
world; the most ordinary of soap operas feature sexual impropriety that would
make Trump blush. Our novels are awash with big conspiracy, corruption at its
heart. And you can barely move on the internet for pornography to satisfy every
warped taste.
As much as you may loathe the man and as much as you may
convince yourself that he is unfit for office, Trump is what he is, what he
always was. But just look at yourselves; from the overwrought reactions in the
media you can almost imagine his reputation would suffer less from the
broadcasting of a video of him beating a tramp to death with a Champagne
bottle. Hell, he’s even apologised for it – or at least he’s said sorry for
being caught – but that may not be enough.
Politics isn’t about truth, it’s about perception. And
perceptions change; that’s the thankless task of the media. If the US election
was unsightly up until now, with each side telling tales to teacher on the
other, stand by for it to become downright ugly. Trump’s team will be poring
over the peccadilloes of Bill Clinton with a fine toothed comb and if it wasn’t
for his Jimmy Savile-like ability to feel no shame he ought to be quaking in
his boots.
A fine pair...
Do I want to know all the stuff that’s going to come out
in the next month? No, not really, but like a slow-motion car crash, it’s going
to be hard to look away. But, however much you may need to hold your nose in
order to elect The Donald, always keep in mind what the alternative is. Trump
or Clinton... what a massive pair.
