There’s danger in the woods; the wicked witch and the big
bad wolf live there. And whatever you do, don’t go scoffing bits of gingerbread
houses. Trolls hide under the bridge, giants live in the clouds and a whole
host of night terrors keep you clinging to your bedclothes. We love a good
fairy tale and the creepier it is the better. Fairies, or better yet ‘faeries’,
in ancient folklore were often portrayed as powerful mischievous beings
who could wreak havoc on the lives of humans. In modern times the softer ‘fairy
story’ is still a cipher for the lies, big and small, we use to influence others.
There are the little lies, of course, such as ‘the cheque
is in the post’ and ‘I emailed you but it got bounced back’ which we should be
wise to by now; prevarication and mischief which probably harm nobody and colluding
with which helps to smooth the daily course of business. But society invents
what it must surely know are pure myths, such as ‘eat yourself slim’, breeding
the vain hope that such a thing as the chocolate and red wine diet actually exists. And
many are the fabulous but nonetheless fictional tales of human equality; of
simple goodness winning over actual bankable ability.
The world of politics has its own stock cast of bogeymen,
such as the evil Tory who lives in a castle (don’t they all?) and dines on
suckling baby while plotting to literally grind the bones of the poor into the
dirt for no other reason than he can. Denis Skinner – the Beast of Bolsover –
obviously swallows all this, as evidenced by his furious performance in the Commons
yesterday. In Labour folklore, of course, the beasts are kind and warm and cuddly
and like the Kinnocks would never dream of profiting by the ordinary man’s
taxes. In that shadowy faerie world there is good money (Labour) and evil money
(Tory).
Thus Evil Tory money is acquired by toil and sweat and
the creation of wealth, which is taxed and turned into hospitals and roads and
justice. Whereas Lovely Labour money is donated generously by kind benefactors
who only wish to see us happy and leave all that horrid reality to others. All
our kind uncles want in return is our love... and lifelong interest; one of the
biggest political fairy tales is the one where we spend our way out of debt –
but just in case you are suspicious they call this debt ‘investing in the
economy’. It’s about as believable as ‘I promise I won’t come in your mouth’.
Go on... you know you want to.
As for acquired wealth, is it genuinely the case that there
is a good way to be rich and a bad way to be rich? Or is the simple mundane
truth that those who are able will confer benefits on their children one way or
another? To get upset over legally passing on wealth as tax efficiently as
possible is to try to deny to some the possibility to live happily ever after
just because not everybody gets to live that fairy tale. The politics of envy
are just as ugly as the politics of avarice and both leave a nasty taste... but
do you spit or swallow?
