Eggscellent

So Jeremy Corbyn was egged. For many years this has been the staple of the non-violent yet effective and humiliating expression of discontent with politicians with whom you disagree. Not to mention the brief respite it brings from the unmitigating serious dreariness of the same old politics. In response somebody resurrected an old tweet from the Boy Wonder, Owen-Sanctimony-Jones and Rachel Riley retweeted it. Jones was saying that all one had to do to avoid an egging was not to be a Nazi. What was that about the past coming back to haunt you?

Ms Riley was then assailed.as the Twittersphere exploded in indignation, the anonymous eggs and the hard-boiled Corbynistas organising their usual dogpile, casting down all their self-righteous, moral high-grounded indignation upon the heads of we lesser mortals in - you guessed it - the ‘far-right’. This came just days after David-Comedy-Gold-Lammy wet his pants over the confected ‘white saviour syndrome’ whereby virtue signalling slebs use needy images of African children to persuade all you white supremacists to bestow alms on the unworthy ne’er-do-wells of the dark continent.

Then yesterday the Twitter account of perpetual victim and benefit monkey Rachel Swindon was suspended and once again the indignity gland spewed forth its unctuous bile, shattering the fragile shell of civility. Oh and lest I forget, Diane Abbott spent the last weekend as a star speaker at a symposium to organise against the rise of the far right. To which panic the BBC Radio 4 Today presenters added their voices of alarum and concern over the news that under the firm stewardship of Gerard Batten Ukip’s numbers have risen healthily during these last few months of Brexit resistance.

All of this comes hard on the heels of the comprehensive de-platforming of a man who is rapidly becoming a symbol for the new resistance in UK society. Batten’s embracing of Tommy (not his real name, didyanno?) Robinson, is almost certainly benefitting Ukip’s more determined supporters while deterring the runny-dipper, no confrontation, Tory-lite types. You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs, so this has to be good news, surely? Honestly, if you want any reasons to restrict population growth you only have to look at the left to see what a useless bunch of agony-porn-addicted grief monkeys the human race is capable of descending into. Jacob Bronowski must be spinning under his marble slab in Highgate Cemetery.

The left always seems to act with knee-jerk hysteria. Egging on the gullible to join the clamour they heavily clamp down on the freedom of expression of anybody with whom they disagree, without even hearing the argument, with a fervour that would impress any fascist in history. Yet they react as if they have been physically violated the second the mildest censure is applied to one of their own. How do you like your public discourse; fried or boiled? Scrambled, more like.

What's missing from this picture?

Meanwhile their mythical bogeyman, the fabled far right, far from shining up their jackboots and marching into Poland are busy oiling the wheels of commerce and keeping their heads below the parapet to avoid the sights of leftist snipers. Keep your nose clean, carry on and clean up the mess. And especially if you work in any part of the public sector, don’t ever let your true allegiances be known. No wonder the opinion polls are always wrong. Yolking aside, can we hope that real change is coming?

Westminster – the Motion Picture

We’ve all seen the movie and it is the same every time. Eventually, somebody makes an offer that can’t be refused. The hapless victim turns to others for help, only to find that the friend, the tutor, the mentor, the governor... the president, even, is in cahoots with the mob. The corruption runs both deep and wide and eventually our man has only one choice – confront the issue head-on and employ extreme violence. Shit or bust.

Reason didn’t work. Pragmatic acceptance of the situation fared no better because once the capitulation was acknowledged the demands merely increased; if he’ll put up with this, why not also insist on this? Negotiation never even got started because whatever bargaining chip the protagonist thought he held was utterly defeated by the counter threats. Do as we demand or the kid gets it. Pay up or lose the dog. We pull the strings, you dance, sucker.

Oh, it all started so innocently. What do you want? They asked. We can make your wishes come true. But what seemed like a perfectly simple and amicable agreement soon accrued compound political interest and with each passing day the stakes grew bigger and the stories of what would happen became wilder and more extreme. Everywhere he turned those who he thought were his allies presented their backs. Warm off-the-record words and private promises turned sour as they publicly reneged on commitments vaguely mumbled behind closed doors.

Who profits? Who knows? The murky currents of this malicious crime organisation run deep and strong, but they cannot be completely invulnerable; they must have a weak spot. They think not. Even the miserable henchman senses ultimate triumph: “...with their backs against the wall, the abyss in front of their eyes and a knife on their throat. We are nearly there. If some time is needed after the end of March then that will not be a problem for the 27.” Oh really, Weasel Van Rompuy? Let’s see about that.

Is this what you want? Well, you asked for it...

Act Three: Redemption. Beaten, bloodied, but unbowed, it is finally clear that any deal the mob might make will be worse than the last. Down that route lies utter subjugation and defeat. The thugs will never back down and the intimidation will continue unless something changes. Enter the reluctant hero. And the nuclear option. Never say never. Hasta la vista muchachos. Yippee ki-yay motherfuckers. Our hero pilots the atomic bomb toward the Death Star... mutually assured destruction, our last card...roll the credits.

Chuka's Chicks Cluck Away

I’ll leave it to others to comment at length, as they have, on how the Independent Group (now joined by Soubry and the Sourpusses) epitomise irony. But in case you missed it, they think independence is a good thing for them, yet a bad thing for the UK  and secondly that despite them all backing a second referendum with remain as an option (but won’t say it out loud) none are willing to give their own constituents a vote... now they know all the facts. The irony horse has bolted from the stable.

Instead I’m taking a shot at the language, the bile and invective sprayed all around like a rampant muck-spreader on crack by Soubry about the imagined ‘far- right’. So determined is she to see the fingers of the far-right in every expression of disagreement she may as well morph into James O’Brien and get it all over and done with. She still manages to both oppose Brexit yet believe she is supporting the referendum vote by ignoring it; the level of cognitive dissonance she suffers must be like tinnitus.

Supporting Brexit does not make you far-right. Wanting an independent – oh look, there’s that lovely word again – Britain does not make you some kind of jack-booted fascist. Not wanting to be ruled from afar is as British as you can get and you might wish to recall the British have a bloody good track record at fighting fascism. Look it up, while history still reports it thus. Soubry’s hyperbole is as ridiculous as Owen Jones’s ‘Winston Churchill was worse than Hitler’ trope he was flogging last week. I mean what is wrong with you people?

Soubry, Allen and Wollaston are claiming to be real Conservatives, trying to save the Party from what has been described as far-right infiltration from top to bottom, when all we see is New-Labour-Lite. Heidi Allen even went so far as to say that the big parties “...want to crush the birth of democracy." This is the same Heidi Allen who has left one of those big parties in order to thwart the outcome of the biggest democratic vote this country has ever held.

Newspeak, is of course the inevitable result of doublethink and the Independent Group are displaying all the glorious traits of Orwell’s IngSoc as they whip up extremism of their own. In fact, breaking away and forming your own group is the very essence of revolution; how very Trotsky of them. And inciting the kind of anti-Brexit rhetoric they do, is so redolent of the two minute hate... except that it isn’t confined to two minutes; it is non-stop.

The only way this rabble can claim to be centrist is that they blend together the extremist tendencies of both left and right, speaking about democracy while opposing it, demanding action against hate while promoting it. Were it not for the voracious appetite of 24-7 news their disjointed message would have already been lost. Instead (much like the Labour Party of late) they are all popping up in interviews to renounce their earlier affirmed stances and to contradict each other in their aims.

If you see any of these lost souls, please inform their carers

If only they would decide to tell the truth and come out as the Anti-Brexit Party. But even the frothing Soubry, the remainer zealots’ zealot, for all her talk of ‘Bluekip’ and ‘Purple Momentum’ still cannot admit to herself that she may not be an actual Conservative. Also she may have been on the Sherry. Anyway, Independents, you were the ones who chose to leave a situation you couldn’t reform from within. Should you put yourselves up for re-election you really haven’t a leg to stand on, which is just as well, as you have no intention of standing.

Seven Deadly Sinners

The newly formed Independent Group of ex-Labour MPs say they want a new politics, not driven by ideology. But wait, what is politics, after all, if it doesn’t pursue a vision? Mere governance need not cleave to left or right, but simply acts in the best interests of the majority, surely? Yes, look after the helpless, but otherwise act for all. Ideologies on the other hand seek more, well, ideological outcomes. And Labour comes from the soak the rich, kill the rich, tax the rich, banish the rich (but still tax them), hate the rich, harry the rich end of the spectrum. Where does this put the band of seven?

There were said to be seven capital vices, otherwise known as the seven deadly sins: pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath and sloth. Just for a bit of fun, let’s look at the sinners a little more closely.

Pride, they say, goes before a fall and Chuka Umunna simply can’t help himself. As a closeted gay Tory in real life, he clearly chose the Labour Party as one in which his dusky skin tones gave him more of a leg up than his natural parliamentary home. Alas his bid for leadership fell at the first hurdle and consigned him forever to be the bridesmaid and never the bride. No doubt he sees himself as leader of this new group... watch out for that tumble!

Chris Leslie, who supports a deeply unpopular soft Brexit with a customs union and single market membership, has criticised Labour for not demanding a second referendum, with Remain an option. He claims his Constituency Labour Party has been infiltrated by the intolerant hard left which seeks to deselect him. It doesn’t look as he has much to lose by quitting. Oh how he must envy Chuka’s suave, Tory presence and winning ways with the, er, laydeez.

Gavin Shuker (who he?) at only 37, is the whippersnapper of the gang of seven. But greedy for power he has founded a secretive company  ‘Gemini A Ltd’ who are said to be the backers behind The Independent Group. As the sole director, wee Gavin clearly hopes his grip on the purse strings will deliver him the attention he craves. And as for Mike Gapes carrying, as he does a few extra pounds, are we to detect a touch of the glutton?

Then we come to the ladies and who would wish to feel the wrath of a woman scorned? Still less the incandescent fury of Luciana Berger – the anti-anti-Semite’s anti-anti-Semite. Or indeed Angela Smith whose slip of the tongue over ‘funny-tinge-gate’ betrays, maybe, an obsession with the dusky. Methinks, however, her lust will go unanswered by the chhekily mocha Chuka. As for Ann Coffey, in a vox-pop from her ward a constituent claimed she had never done a thing for the area, so a sloth in sheep’s clothing, or simply the left, ever quick to turn on their own?

Still waters don't always run so deep

Of course, Ms Coffey has form in backing losers. She nominated Liz Kendall for the Labour leadership in 2015 and endorsed Owen Smith in same failed endeavour in 2016. Whatever the truth behind it all, what seems by now abundantly clear is how few ripples this has really caused in the political talent pool. If you are going to start a breakaway movement you really need some bigger headline acts than this. Maybe seven deadly sinners was too big a label; they are more like the seven dwarves, which begs the question: which one is the most Dopey?

Suffer the children

I remember, back in the sixties, our next door neighbours were proud to have marched in the Ban the Bomb demonstrations. It had no effect on either government policy or their own lives and when I got to know them a little I realised it was for them just a jolly day out with a bunch of other young people, making a noise for the sake of it and justifying it by pretending to themselves that they cared. They didn’t. Even back then there were families who could survive on a combination of the dole, cash in hand work and the black market. Far from being good little socialists and humanists they were on the take, allowing others to take the strain.

The world faces many challenges and most responsible governments – including our own, believe it or not – are taking steps to meet them. On climate change, for instance, since 2010, the UK has reduced its CO₂ emissions by a quarter: 50% more than any other G20 country. And in 2017 the UK cut more CO₂ than the rest of the EU27 put together. That was under Theresa May and the Conservatives. Yes, the very same Theresa May the striking children were calling to be fucked. Charmers, aren’t they?

In fact the real thrust of the Socialist Worker assisted kiddy-strike was laid bare in their chants ‘Fuck Theresa May’ and ‘Tories out’ oh and ‘Oh, Jeremy Corbyn’. And many banners read ‘System Change not Climate Change’. The news media delighted in broadcasting lisping infants reading out emotive copied-out essays, but this was no cuddly attempt to bring people together and heal the planet; it was a naked and blatant manipulation of malleable minds.

The left have long argued for children to be given the vote and the far left have absolutely no compunction over weaponising the gullible. They do it with old people, with poor people, with black people, with muslims; they lie to them and tell them how badly they are done by under the hated Tories and then promise to magically tax the country to a standstill to somehow make it all better. The truth of course, is that the UK government record is exemplary in comparison to most of the rest of the world, but the truth has no traction here.

And the truth behind this irresponsible action is that kids were used as a political human shield for the only real aim of the hard left, which is to hold power. Forever. In their warped thinking the great socialist revolutions of the past only failed because of the frailty of corrupt leadership. In their new Utopia without the threat of ever being deposed by the demos, they will finally shape the world in their version of Marx’s image. Religions hold sway over people by telling them comforting tales and damning warnings; extreme socialism does the same.

Socialist worker? Biggest oxymoron in politics.

For my generation it was the threat of nuclear Armageddon. Today it seems climate change is the preferred cover. In either case the inconvenient truth is that children, who have only recently discovered the truth about the Tooth Fairy and Father Christmas, are too easily manipulated by the shiny baubles and gewgaws of Socialist Santa and his demonic elves and Friday's so-called strike was a prime example of how easily emotions can defeat facts. Still think we should let children vote?