The Greatest Show on Earth

 It’s like Christmas and New Year all over again. Whizzzz! Wasssat? It’s the sound of a lefty exploding. Aaaaargh! It’s a lefty spontaneously combusting. Phhht! The sound of a protest being snuffed out like a damp squib. And what is this I see? A supplicant, crawling along the ground on his prodigious belly to grovel at the feet of the new US President? Why, it’s David ‘the slug’ Lammy leaving a trail of obsequious slime as he rows back like Steve Redgrave on steroids to retract his previous insults. Diplomatic, my arse.

So this is Christmas, I mean the inauguration, whereby Donald Trump becomes only the second President in history to be given two non-contiguous terms. No flash in-the-pan then, as all the wise old commentators opined in 2016 and 2020. And this time ‘The Donald’ comes equipped with the full knowledge of the power he wields and the determination to see it through. His inaugural speech continued the campaign and the coming days will see a full-throated challenge to the very same ideologies which beset and cripple the UK.

Barely even stopping to say “Fuck off Joe” he got right down to work signing Executive Orders and doing more with a stroke of a pen than British governments have achieved in two decades. Even Blair’s epoch-defining, regime change took care not to rock the ‘rule of law’ boat. Trump though? If the law offends thee, pluck it out! And this is an approach we need to consider over here. I have long advocated the need for a strong, autocratic leader on the right (literally) side of the political fence. It can only be hoped that the next UK government – for there is no hope whatsoever of Starmer’s ugly pessimists stepping up – will learn lessons and get their hands as dirty as necessary.

Of course, signing orders is not the same as carrying them out and time will tell but what a smorgasbord of delight was on offer: He is scrapping the costly and damaging nonsense of DEI in government, which it can only be hoped will sweep through corporate America in rapid succession. This alone will increase productivity by measurable margins; diversity is only a ‘strength’ if it has come about through success. Even a working-class moron like me could see that from a mile away.

America for Americans sounds good for me, so border control is a necessity, as it is for the UK, if only we could rid the country of its self-imposed shame around race issues. And just imagine what we could accomplish if we only recognised two genders? There's half your HR staff rendered redundant, right there. And why should government dictate what car you can drive? If Elon’s prime mover is a better bet then people will buy it, but why prevent ordinary workers from being able to afford to get to work? Drill baby, drill – Ed bloody Miliband probably thinks that’s being down wid da hip-hop kids, innit?

And what on Earth is wrong with the death penalty, except for the hurty feels of those who fear it may be utilised to punish treason? Cop killers, child rapists, batshit mental religionists, car bombers, Christmas market drive-through killers… Caught on camera, multiple witnesses, bang to rights, why not? Because if the administration over here doesn’t get down to some righteous smiting of wrongdoers it is only a matter of time before the public will have no option but to take matters into their own hands… and vote for somebody who will.

The Trump Circus is in town.

Of course, I don’t believe for one moment that Trump is any kind of saint, but a saint would probably go about forgiving people that trespass against us all anyway, so what would be the point? And no, I don’t think he possesses any greater intellect than we see on show, but look at our universities and see where intellect has taken us. Is he a vainglorious buffoon, a clown, as the left insist? Maybe so, but this clown is also the ringmaster, the lion tamer and the high wire act as well. I wouldn’t want to bet against him.

The Robots Are Coming!

 In 1963, Harold Wilson spoke, with as much passion as the dour Yorkshireman could muster, of harnessing the white heat of technology. He wanted Britain to become a leader once again, an industrial giant, a powerhouse, if you will. Yesterday the charisma-free, black hole of charm, Keir Starmer, brought his Wilson tribute act to the screen and told us all, to our utter disbelief that he is determined to harness the power of AI.

Harness AI? I doubt he can even spell it. It wouldn’t surprise me if he thinks it is a southern version of the Geordie, “Way aye!” Or maybe he believes it is something to with levelling up and that the north in general could benefit from a good helping of “Ey up!” Whatever, I wonder what he thinks AI really is and if he has any grasp of what he is saying. Although, I have to admit I am looking forward to having my bins emptied by AI and my drains unblocked by Robo-Rod.

As with all things political, I have absolutely no faith that any of this has been thought through. A vague statement of getting with the programme or being left behind really doesn’t cut it. Perhaps he would be advised to consult some true industry experts who can put him straight. I’m thinking of Ed Miliband… on the downside, however, that is a more likely trajectory towards net-zero intelligence.

These who cheerlead for AI are a mixed bunch: The eggheads who foresee a life of indolence and luxury as the robots do the heavy lifting. The Luddite tendency which sees forever the coming of the age of robots, as Asimov imagined, which will one day supplant humanity. The manipulators who are already using AI to spread disinformation. And, of course, the rest of us, the little people who will have no say.

Of course, the obvious immediate reaction is to question whether Starmer is a real boy at all, and not an early prototype human-acting droid. A moment’s thought, however, would dismiss that idea; Two-tier, free-gear, no-idea Keir would fail the Turin test in three sentences. Nobody would believe he was human. Every time he speaks, the part of the population over 50 sees the shrivelled being inside the boss Dalek. No wonder Starmer himself has said he prefers Davros[sic] to Westminster.

At least they have fixed the “free the sausages” bug with the latest update, but therein lies another issue. First world problem it may be, but my how we rage against yet another Microsoft update. The computer virus which is politics today is forever resetting itself, shutting down all your tabs, rearranging your interface to make it unusable (I’m looking at you, Facebook) and claiming it as an upgrade.

I asked Grok to make me a robot Keir, 

but this just looks like normal Keir to me.

Well, this time maybe we do want the upgrade. We could download government which is pragmatic and bases decisions on what will work, not on what its ideological outcomes may be. A government unbiased by its cultural preferences and one which will automate the mundane aspects of governance. Given that 650 shouting faces do not seem capable of organising a piss-up in a distillery, maybe Starmer is right. Maybe it really is time we gave the robots a go.

Give me all your women!

 In a restaurant scene in the original Blues Brothers film, Jake Blues, played by John Belushi orders chicken and then offers to buy a fellow customer’s womenfolk. “How much for your leedle girl?” he asks, “I want to buy all your women.” It is no accident that he uses a middle-eastern accent, an accent associated with islam. It conjures up ancient memories of the camel-borne sex slave trade which is still practiced today in locations as exotic and far-flung as Rochdale, Telford, Rotherham… you get it.

So why doesn’t Keir Starmer’s Barmy Army get it? Last night Labour MPs were whipped to vote against the bill for a national inquiry into the child rape/assault/murder epidemic which, despite all official efforts to say otherwise, is prevalent in areas with a large muslim population. Moreover, areas with a high proportion of interbred Pakistani muslims, many of whom were born here but seem incapable of shedding the animal urges of their true nationality.

It is notable that there are no protests from the ‘majority moderate muslim’ population, and of course there won’t be. A current contender to lead the muslim* Council of Britain – what a disgusting, stomach-churning title that is – has preached that muslims must put their faith first, before their nationality. As far as I am concerned that alone disqualifies any observant muslim from being a true British citizen, no matter how long their family has been here.

Don’t tar everybody with the same brush, certain bien-pensants may say, well fuck that. Here is a line in the sand and on one side stands Labour and the people it is protecting and on the other stands every decent person in the country. You are welcome to cross that line and join us. Abandon your stone-age faith, whether that faith be islam or socialism, or be on the wrong side. I hesitate to say ‘losing side’ because from where I am standing the odds of reversing the damage are long.

The direction of travel is still very much toward a muslim majority Europe unless actual physical means are employed to change tack. And this means arrests, convictions by the thousand) incarceration and deportation to anywhere we can send them. And deportation must be regardless of any fear for their safety; they did not regard their victims as human, why should we afford them a higher personal dignity? And don’t even start down the argument that such action makes us as bad as them.

Seriously? The rape and abuse and torture of vulnerable young girls from families already abandoned by the state; the utter ruination of young lives; the total disregard for the law; the looking away of people charged with protecting these girls. You think that punishing these people harshly makes us look bad? This is an infestation of the worst kind of vermin, spreading disease and poisoning the water; only one solution – eradication – can be effective.

The next train to Bradford is leaving from platform 1

So, yet again I find myself exhorting those disgusted by the perversions of islam and its adherents to do something. If you are a police officer, judge, social worker, politician, local authority official, teacher, anyone in a position to report and act against this behaviour then do your job. And if you are a muslim you have to decide; do you wish to forever be assumed to be a cheerleader for gang rape, or do you do the right thing? Boycott your mosque, get out in the streets in protest. Leave your faith. Anything less will be taken as evidence that you are every bit as evil as the rapists.

 

(*A reminder that my tiny personal crusade against islam is not to capitalise islamic references, as I don’t regard fictitious beliefs as worthy of being a proper noun.)

From Zero to Eternity

Rejoice, comrades, for the race to Net Zero has been won. Because of the natural lag in collecting, analysing and amending all the statistical data to arrive at the correct conclusion, the reaching of this milestone was overlooked at the time, but we have run the figures, and then run them again and it is now undeniable that the United Kingdom has exceeded its brave remit to become carbon zero.

In fact, it is far better than that because now that the wind turbines also suck carbon-dioxide out of the very air itself, the proliferation of atmosphere farms has turned us into a negative carbon superpower. The carbon capturing ability – and on this there can be no doubting the science – is more than enough to cancel out all of Britain’s industrial CO₂ emissions. This includes all the fried chicken shops, the carbon dioxide breathed out by Deliveroo bike couriers, and all the hot air expended by Ladbrokes customers and Parliament combined.

Better yet is the now proven fact that every mile driven in an electric vehicle literally improves air quality by 50%. This means that as every Tesla Monstatruk_[TM] passes you by, on your long march to the lithium mines, your lungs grow healthier with each breath you take. And for every new solar-photovoltaic panel you install, your social credit score increases by a full two percent, for which The Party thanks you.

The passing of all manufacture and information technology to the control of China has effectively put us under the protectorate of the most powerful industrial and military conglomerate on the planet. This means we are no longer beholden to the United States for defence and we have become self sufficient in Chinese energy, food and security.

And, due to this happy partnership, we are able to avail ourselves of the CCP's wonderful techniques for disseminating the good news, of which there is plenty. No longer are we bound by strictly impartial news reporting, or any of that freedom of speech lunacy which so dominated the last struggling decade before we ascended the plateau to zero. No, all that is required under the various five year plans is to announce that the plan has succeeded.

Naturally, having met all of our targets, it is imperative that the people’s committees and cooperatives set new ones. There is one downside, however. Despite the days of plenty and glorious abundance with which the telescreens are filled, some anti-party activists insist on trying to spread malicious propaganda. The weekly die-ins, at which hundreds expire from what they choose to call hunger are unseemly and undignified. And they achieve nothing.

We must resist, with every fibre of our being, those negative messages of want. There is no want; we can see this demonstrated daily on TikTok. There is no hunger; the screens are full of images of tables, groaning under the sheer weight of food. The people are happy, the people own nothing yet they own everything. And our carbon emissions targets have all been exceeded. And we know this because Comrade Miliband tells us it is so.

Trump Triumphs!

 We have to remember, we little people, that our humble and inferior opinions do not matter. Not only do they not matter, even to contemplate them dirties the debate. The muddy, murky waters of our bile and prejudice run shallow and slow and eventually drowns us all in the morass of hate into which those waters drain. We are unworthy, we are subhuman, we are – in the enlightened parlance of the left – scum.

So, it is with great delight that I welcome President-elect Trump to once again lead the ‘free’ world. Also, once again, he has been elected not despite all the protestations of the left, but precisely because of them. As the bonfire societies of Lewes burn an effigy of Nigel Farage, at the time of burning unaware that he is about to become the most significant figure in British politics (again) the media world turned to the US election and ‘watch parties’ were broadcast around the globe.

Eagerly, the huge lefty love-in which is comprised of the greasy pole climbers in the various arms of the establishment awaited the news that victory would be theirs. They could not wait to hear confirmation of the polling that said their beloved Kamala would be installed as the first black/brown female President in history. They were aching to see The Donald put firmly in his place… and so it came to pass. His place will once more be 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, District of Columbia.

Oh, the wailing and gnashing of teeth in Terribly Trotsky Towers was fierce this morning and throughout the day as realisation grew. Emily Maitliss, Alastair Campbell, Rory Stewart, Emily Thornberry, Paul Mason… the list goes on, and they hate all of it. Of particular joy was knowing that the obnoxious lefty halfwit, James O’Brien, has been driven half out of his very short cul-de-sac of a mind by OrangeManBad.

And of course, the pundits are now out in force, being wise after the event. But there is a peculiar feature of the left-wing brain, which is its inability to grasp what is blindingly obvious to everybody else. We knuckle-dragging righties are so incredibly thick yet even we can see it. And, confronted by something we don’t understand we have the ability to admit we don’t get it, decide whether we are going to be concerned about it, shrug, fart and move along.

But not the left. Oh no. Not for them the admittance of confusion or defeat. The wiring in their brains is cleverly routed so that for every synaptic gap a ganglion is born to join the dots. And as a result, the fact that more people voted for Trump is not because more people wanted to vote for Trump – on whatever impulse – is no reason to try and work out what those people were thinking, but it is reason to condemn their thoughts as thuggish and wrong.

The world isn’t going to end next Tuesday, the planet is not going to die, and whatever fates lie ahead, Donald Trump will play but a small part in them. Closer to home, people ought to focus on what is best for them, and politicians need to learn to listen. We have pressing concerns about our demographics, our culture, our education, our futures; and it is clear, to us at least, that our so-called leaders are not up the task of fixing the foundations.

They actually believe this stuff!

So, politicians and pundits, pontificators and panjandrums, have your little weep, lie still in a silent dark cell of despond if you must. Grieve all you like for something that never was. But once you have wept yourselves dry and emerge, blinking, into daylight, for goodness’ sake, get a grip.