Question Time

Hello and welcome to Gardeners Question Time, this week we are live from Islington Town Hall with a lively audience of plants and we are ready to answer specially selected questions so as to make sure you are provided with all the right answers as we reach a critical time of the gardening year. Your host is me, Bob Flowerdew and with me on the panel please welcome Pippa Greenwood, Bryan Hedges and Miranda Bush. [AUDIENCE APPLAUSE] Can we take our first question from the audience?

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Hello bob, yes, I’ve been having trouble controlling a rather bushy plant which seems to be all over the place. I have brought a cutting; perhaps the panel can identify it?

BOB: Ah yes, the Jeremiah. The Latin name is Jeremimus Corbynistus and it can be a bit of handful, thriving in many positions even contradictory ones, but it does best when placed hard to the left. In fact you can’t place it too far left. Have you tried talking to it?

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Yes, I tried that, but it really made no sense. I have it planted next to my sturdy thickius two-plankus abutting the shed and the two seem to get on well together, but it’s not a good look, I have to say. The thickius casts such a dark shadow and the contrast with the Jeremiah’s grey hairs ought to work, but it just looks dull and depressing.

BOB: Well, we hope you can learn to live with it because, from your expression, it seems you are resigned to it for a long time to come. Let’s hope, next season you can see an alternative but I think we are stuck with it for now. Let’s now take a question from correspondence. Pippa?

PIPPA: Yes, I have a letter here from a Mr Livingstone who seems to have a problem cultivating a prickly pear of the variety sadiqium. He says he has it on an east wall but it just looks, in his words, angry and annoying. Well, Mr L, you may have misread the planting instructions because this particular thorny exotic needs to be on an east facing wall, where it will ‘mecca’ great impression. Although it can be difficult to control or predict, it will provide regular explosions of colour, all year round, as part and parcel of living in a multi-horticultural landscape. [APPLAUSE]

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Hello, I have a question about my Johnny-come-Lately plant. It doesn’t really seem to want to do what I want. I’ve tried to train it but it always ends up taking over unless I keep it cut firmly back. It gets out of control very quickly and I’m wondering, would I be better off getting rid of it altogether?

BRYAN: Ah yes, Johhny-come-lately, often referred to as McDonnell’s Glory. It can be quite colourful but it is a very aggressive strain and quickly attacks all around it. It is best planted deep in a bed of its own – six feet being the ideal - because it doesn’t really play well with others. Try that and if it doesn’t behave as you want you might indeed want to get rid of it. You can try at least, but be careful, it bears some rather nasty thorns and has a habit of biting back.

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Thank you, Bryan, I’ll try that. And should I treat my Thornberry the same? It seems to be quite a vicious thing and apt to shade out the others.

BRYAN: Oh, I wouldn’t give the Thornberry houseroom I’m afraid. I find it is nothing but trouble. I’d get rid of it altogether. [APPLAUSE]

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Hello Panel. [PANEL HELLOES] I have a photograph here, I hope you can all see it. A few years ago this gay little thing self-seeded in my herbaceous border and since then it has proliferated so, as you can see, it now crops up everywhere. At first I thought it was quite sweet but if I’m honest I’m getting a bit fed up of it. It’s just the same thing repeated over and over. What can I do?

MIRANDA: Can I take this one? Yes, this is narcissus fortitudinous and it does, as you say, keep popping up all over the place. At first it seems quite fresh and jolly, but you’re right, it is a sickly little weed and best ignored. The common name – and it really is quite common - is Owenia, which is almost onomatopoeic, sounding like the noise you make when you see it, yet again. But there really is no getting rid of it; it is almost as if the others invite it in. As I say I should just ignore it and hope it goes away.

Jeremiah, Johnny and their little weed...

BOB: Well, some interesting little problems there, but our time is almost up. I’d like to just pick up this story that is in the news right now. We are getting regular emails and letters from listeners who are asking about the Mayflower epidemic. This is being seen in garden centres, allotments, village greens, all over the place right now. It’s an insistent little thing, but with no variety; wherever it blooms it is exactly the same, repeating the same old sequence. It comes with an entourage of useless and not very decorative foliage and offers so much promise, but with so little delivery. My advice? I’d suggest you compost the lot.